Daniel leans forward, waiting until Logan is looking him in the eyes. “Aren’t you worried that we won’t be ourselves anymore? How can they change so much of us and say we’re the same? Do you want to suck dick, or get fucked? Because I don’t. But apparently, we’re going to be okay with it when this is all over. I’ll have the urge to fight or get on my knees, I’ll be drawn to men and need things that….” His breath stalls in his chest. It’s impossible to say. To even think. “How could we want those things? What if we don’t even want them, but do them anyway? I don’t understand why we’re letting it happen. Are you really not afraid? Not fucking terrified?”

The problem is they’re brothers. They’ve been best friends their entire lives. Daniel knows Logan better than he knows himself, and if Logan is going to go through with this, then somehow, Daniel is too.

“No, I’m not worried. And you shouldn’t be either,” Logan says, and Daniel knows he’s fucking lying.

For some damn reason that makes it easy. Everyone is scared and they do it anyway. Surely his great-grandfather who fought in World War One was terrified to leave the trenches and go over the top, but he did it anyway. His grandfather was on Normandy Beach and raced out of the water while his brothers were gunned down around him. The seas were red with blood and those men still got out of their boats and did what they had to do.

This is easy by comparison. All Daniel has to do is walk through a door and lie down. When he wakes up it will be over, and he will be a hero. The odds are he’ll be Dominant. If he has urges to be with men, if he “needs” that, then so be it. There will be benefits which outweigh that possible side effect.

All he has to do is have faith. And maybe his father will finally be proud of him.

1

Three Years Later

Daniel wakes up nauseous in the middle of the night and barely makes it to the bathroom to throw up nothing but bile. He forgot to eat. Again. He calls medical like he’s been ordered to and gets patched through to Dr. Chang, the doctor who’s been put in charge of his case. He’s probably sick of hearing from Daniel. Lord knows Daniel’s damn sick of calling him.

“Daniel, what’s wrong?” he asks, trying to sound awake.