“Somehow what?” I breathe, waiting desperately for her next words, knowing what it is she’s on the verge of saying but not quite sure how I feel about it.

“No. I’m done being the one who talks.” With that, she turns on her heels and walks away. I should follow her, leave all of this behind and take her home to say all the things I need to say, but I don’t. Why? Because this is my default. This is what I know how to do. I walk away.

And for the first time ever, I feel like shit about it.

When I get back to the fight, Ezra is waiting. He’s bouncing on the balls of his feet. I decide at that moment as I peel my shirt off that I will let him hit me. At least once, I’ll let him have a good swing at my face, and judging by the evidence that he’s been working out, it’s going to hurt like hell. I don’t throw fights, and I hate those who do, but this isn’t throwing it. It’s just a good hit that I know he wants and I deserve.

So after we go through the usual spiel with the off-duty ref, I don’t dodge, and Ezra swings, making painful contact with my chin. It hurts more than usual, probably from the lack of adrenaline. My heart just isn’t into the fight tonight. If I fight better hating someone, it makes sense why this fight isn’t doing it for me. I don’t hate Ezra. Even if he is impulsive and wild. He may not be my friend anymore, but I still can’t hate him.

For the next ninety seconds, I dodge and block every swing and I pull my punches, only making contact twice.

“I see what you’re doing,” he groans when they ring the first bell. “It’s pathetic.”

I don’t reply. I’m still thinking about Shelby and how stupid all of this is. I should be at home with her. I have two more rounds of this to get through and then I’ll be fast on her heels, waiting outside her door. I’ll sleep there if I have to.

"You think she gives a shit about you?" Ezra calls over to me with a sneer.

I don't answer because those words do feel like a punch as it is. Yes, I did think she gave a shit about me. But I brush him off. He’s just trying to get me worked up.

"She's just fucking you to get close to you, so we can find the thing you love and take it from you. To fuck you over the way you fucked us over."

When my eyes find him, something he said strikes a nerve. He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Of course Shelby was using me to get what she wanted. In the beginning, so was I.

But he said, “find something you love and take it from you.”

Clenching my jaw, I stare at him. A second later, the bell rings and we move toward each other. Neither of us swing as we circle the center of the ring.