Pushing the thought away, I climb into the shower and turn the heat up as high as it will go. The scalding water against my back brings back memories that, instead of pushing away, I let them rise up. For a brief moment, I stare at the memory of my parents shoving me into that nearly boiling water to cleanse me of my wicked desires. For what? Because I touched myself, because I woke up with morning wood like every other guy my age? They infused me with a shame before I was old enough to know anything else.

And here I am, ready to let myself get close to someone who I actually trust, and it's time to face that memory and tell it to fuck off.

Taking a long breath, I brace myself. This terrifies me, but it's never not going to terrify me, so I have to accept the fact that at least I'm facing it with someone good.

As I step out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and step into the bedroom. She's standing against the window, looking out at the water. Tucking my towel around me so it doesn't fall, I step up behind her, hoping we can recover the passion from earlier and I didn’t kill the mood by needing a few minutes to think.

Pulling her hair back, I trail kisses across her shoulders and down her back. Letting out a long moan, she leans back into my arms. "We can take it slow," she whispers.

After peeling her shirt from her body, my lips find the grooves of her spine, kissing each vertebrae. "I've taken it slow my entire life. I'm fucking tired of slow. Right now, I want to devour you. I want to strip away your clothes, and I want to make you scream my name while I fuck you."

She gasps, arching her back, pressing her ass into my cock.

Getting on my knees, I turn her body. My tongue trails a soft line just above the hem of her pants. Then, I carefully pull them down, taking a long look at the black lacy panties in front of me. I press my face against the black fabric, and she lets out another moan that feels like a shockwave to my painful erection.

"Don't tease me, Rafe," she cries, digging her fingers into my hair.

"What do you want me to do?" I whisper against her sex.

She bites her lip, hesitating, and I know she's not used to dirty talk, but I meant what I said. I want everything. All the filthy thoughts in her head belong to me.

"Say it, Shelby. Tell me what you want." My thumb draws circles around her clit, and I watch the goosebumps erupt along her legs and belly.

"Fuck me, Rafe," she cries, and when I look up at her, her pupils are dilated and so full of desire, it makes a smile stretch across my face.