“Okay!” Abigail calls, and suddenly the music is at full volume again. I put my phone to my ear and pretend to be on a very important call as I cross the parking lot. It seems like everyone is wearing a T-shirt with their college on it, 70 percent of them in State colors. Hurrying past the entrance to the Gill School, I realize I don’t ever have to go in there again. I’m done with high school, and now that it’s over, I have nothing left to do. Except draw my shades, turn my projector on, and hide in my universe.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO PROM?
(A QUIZ FROM THE UNIVERSE)
ANSWER YES OR NO:

1. Most of your conversations happen in your head with someone/something that doesn’t exist.

2. If alone, you feel in danger of being totally kidnapped by a dismal expanse of nothingness, leaving behind only your supercool knee-high combat boots because that’s all you’re really worth. And they’ve been resoled three times.

3. You like dresses, but only if no one’s looking. Otherwise it’s too stressful, what with the wind and utility holes and stuff.

4. Your favorite song to slow dance to is the ballad of your loneliness and inadequacies, mezzo forte in E major. Also everything Elvis.

5 You think bobby pins and hair spray should actually be used to blind boys and keep their mouths shut. Just kidding. You love boys. Need boys. Hate all the boys you know (kind of) but firmly believe there’s one out there who doesn’t have a douche-y haircut and loved his mom before rap songs made it cool.

6. You’ve been asked to prom, then un-asked to prom.

7. You considered taking your dad in his wheelchair but then remembered this is not a sappy rom-com where the girl “learns a lesson.” This is you, and you never learn a damn thing.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: DID YOU ANSWER MOSTLY YES TO THIS QUIZ? THEN DO NOT ACTUALLY GO TO PROM WITH YOURSELF, BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN’T SUBJECT YOURSELF TO YOURSELF AT ALL.

Text exchange with Abigail, Hilary, and me with twenty-two hours and twenty-two minutes left ’til prom:

Bad news kids C

I’m not going to prom C

A Are you freaking kidding me?

A You are absolutely going to prom.

In fact I’m not. C

A IN FACT YOU ARE. YOU ARE GOING TO DANCE WITH ME AND HILARY AND IT IS GOING TO BE A-FREAKING-MAZING.

Nope. C

Prom is just a lot of makeup and uncomfortable clothes and taking pictures. I want to do something real tonight. C

A BUT IT’S FUN!!!

Idk I’d rather just hang out C

Exchange personal philosophies with the dust bunnies under my bed C

BTW I bombed English class C

soooo ttyl Nicaragua C

A Did Mr. Garcia say that?

No, but I didn’t do my essay C

He probably doesn’t wanna break the bad news before prom C