“You planted that!” Nick accused.
As if he’d admit to cheating. “Don’t be a sore loser.”
“I’m not the one who set the board game on fire when I was winning.”
“You intentionally snuck that serpent in there to sabotage me.” Snakes and Ladders. The most evil game in creation.
“Still such a baby. Can’t admit I beat you,” Nick taunted.
For a moment, Lucifer saw red and his nostrils smoked. Just what Nick intended, judging by his smirk.
Lucifer composed himself and then retaliated. “Sounds to me like you’re jealous that my wife still likes to suck my dick every night.”
He ducked the needle Gaia threw at his head. Totally worth it to see his cousin red cheeked.
“You’re a pig.”
“Demon, actually. And you’re not.”
Cousin Nick might be old, but he was a youngster compared to the devil.
“You want the letters. Keep them. I can always find more children to replace them.” A statement that had Nick turning and holding out his arms to Lucifer’s kids.
“Who wants to sit on Santa’s lap?”
As if—
What the ever-loving fuck! Lucifer almost exploded as Jujube crawled over and bounced on her bum, exclaiming, “Santa!” She clapped and held out her arms.
Traitor.
“Naptime!” Lucifer snapped his fingers and sent both children off to the nursery.
The lie fooled no one. Nick got a smug expression, and Lucifer’s ire grew. He began entertaining thoughts of revenge, which interfered with his previous plans that involved getting into his wife’s panties. The distraction couldn’t be allowed to happen.
His wife needed him to defile her. He couldn’t let anything get in the way of that.
Time to get rid of this pompous fool. Jolly his ass. “Don’t you have some elves to crack a whip on? Some reindeer to fellate into flying? A wife to disappoint?”
“I’ll leave once you hand over my mail.” Nick imperiously held out a hand.
“Still no, and before you argue, you don’t have a case. Ask my lawyer.”
A woman in a blue dress suit appeared at the snap of his fingers. Kourtney—who usually worked earth-side for his match making service, Grim Dating—scowled as she crossed her arms. “What now?” Such a lovely attitude and to think he could enjoy it anytime he wanted since he’d arranged to have her fall for one of his Grim Reapers.
“I have need of your legal expertise.”
Kourtney arched a brow. “And what did we say about proper notice?”
“You spoke. I never agreed. And even if I had, I would have been lying.” Lucifer could never understand how people didn’t grasp this simple concept.
“It’s a good thing you pay me ridiculously well,” she grumbled. “What is it this time?”
“Letters addressed to Satan Claus. Does my cousin have a legal right to them?”
Kourtney sighed. “No. But morally—”