“I brought a set, actually.” The man pulled them from his coat, a big chain thing that clinked horribly and a short sturdy rope to latch on.

“Those won’t do. But I think I have something.” A filmy pink scarf that tied in a perfect bow and the extendible clothesline she kept in her shower. “Tada!” She beamed.

Marduke’s face appeared as if he might be constipated. Hopefully, the juice he chugged would do its charm.

“This is emasculating for us all,” Marduke declared.

“I think it’s cute. I’m going to take it for a walk. Coming, Miguel?”

Her son bolted to get his boots and coat. The enthusiasm made her smile. She glanced at Marduke, a man who probably had better things to do, and yet, she couldn’t help a lilting query, “Coming?”

8

Coming?

Marduke might if she kept looking at him that way. Crazy lady was cute as fuck. Also nuts. She treated him and the hellhound as if they were tame.

Far from it. Yet there was a certain perverse novelty in following along. She babbled incessantly all the way down the stairs. The boy never replied. Neither did Marduke. It didn’t seem to bother her.

She hit the slushy sidewalk, ignored the biting cold, and walked the damned dog, who behaved even as it cast woebegone glances at him.

Sorry, buddy. He was just doing the devil’s work.

Christmas lights shone in windows and on the skinny poles lining the sidewalks. City living meant tolerating crowded spaces. Kind of like Hell. Which was why Marduke spent most of his time in the kennels. People were overrated.

The boy hunched in his coat, his gaze on the dog and nothing else. Marduke couldn’t blame him. It appeared as if Christmas had puked all over town.

As Merry skipped ahead, the smell of brimstone preceded the arrival of the Dark Lord.

“What the fuck do you want?” Marduke muttered, glancing ahead at Merry, who seemed oblivious that the devil had joined them. Miguel held the makeshift leash with her and also didn’t peek.

“They can’t see us,” Lucifer advised. “Good job on delivering the puppy.”

“Exactly what the fuck are you plotting? Or is it your plan to have her mauled to death?”

“That won’t happen if you stick around long enough to ensure everything goes okay.”

“How long?”

“Depends on how quickly things progress. What do you think about her?”

“She’s—” A bunch of words came to mind, but it was Lucifer’s grin that triggered Marduke’s epiphany. “You’re trying to set me up!”

“Me?” False innocence from the man wearing red and green so bright Marduke’s eyes hurt.

“I’m telling you right now I am not banging her.”

“Would you prefer to make love? She seems the type,” Lucifer mused aloud. “Annoying at first, until you realize love equals swallow.”

“I am not looking for a relationship.”