But when Tatina saw me emerge through the Oslo Lufthavn arrival doors she leapt into my arms and wrapped her legs around me, and we kissed for what was apparently a long time. Long enough for a security guard to kindly suggest we move to the side of the doorway. It was then I noticed several people staring at us, smiling or laughing.

As we raced down the Lufthavnvegen highway in her MINI Cooper, Tatina said, “Okay, what’s the second thing you want to do today?”

“You proceed from the false assumption, Dr. Stadtmueller, that there will be enough of the day left over after the first thing for there to be a second thing.”

“Okay then,” she began. “Let’s assume there is time for a second—how shall I say?—activity. What might that be?”

“How ’bout helping me find an apartment, furniture, that sort of stuff?”

Tatina nearly swerved off the highway.

“Seriously?” she said. “Don’t tease, August!”

“I’m not,” I said. “But the apartment’s got to have a really nice kitchen, enough wall space for a large TV, a sizable leather sofa—forest green, preferably—and a big bed.”

“Huge bed!” She laughed.

“Gigantic bed! Know any good lookin’ babes who might like to share this gigantic bed with me?”

“I’ll put a list together for you,” she said, adding, “Idiot.”

Frankly, I had no idea what I was doing.

Who the hell does?