‘I wouldn’t put it as strongly as that, in all fairness. Don’t beat yourself up about it, please. Most of this is down to me, how I handle it when shit happens. Which has always been badly. Disastrously, in fact, as you know.’

‘I do.’

He laughed.

‘You needn’t have agreed so readily,’ he said.

We both smiled and said nothing for a while. Then Davy spoke again.

‘Anyway, what I’m saying is that I ran for the hills, when I should’ve stayed and talked it through. Since I’ve been in treatment I’ve been trying to do things differently. But it’s not always easy. On Sunday, I reacted. Badly. Like a fucking arsehole.’

I laughed.

‘Fucking arsehole is a bit strong.’

‘Is it?’ he said. ‘I don’t know. Anyway, what do we do now?’

‘About what?’

‘About us.’

‘You’re asking me?’

‘Yeah, I am. Like, what was that, last night? And this morning?’

‘It just happened, I suppose, I mean …’

‘A case of, you could resist my charms no longer and just had to fuck my brains out?’

‘That’s kinda true, actually,’ I said.

Davy reached across the table and took my hand.

‘You know, in rehab they tell us not to get into relationships until we’re, not recovered exactly, we never recover fully, but until we’re secure in our new way of life. A lot of people ignore the advice.’

‘Yeah. AA seems to be Cork’s top dating agency, as far as I can see.’

‘Exactly,’ Davy said. ‘For a lot of people. Not me. I haven’t exactly been a monk …’

I laughed.

‘Okay, okay. I know what you think about me and the yummy mummies. But I haven’t been in a relationship since I left Tabor Lodge four years ago. Haven’t felt ready, I s’pose, but now, this thing with us …’

I wrenched my hand away, leapt up from the table, and grabbed my coat.

‘I totally agree. We’re not relationship material. Last night was great, but it’s not to be repeated. We’re friends, Davy, nothing more. Take your time, finish your coffee. Pull out the door after you when you’re leaving. I’ve got to run.’

18

By 8.45, I’d already fielded a call from my mother. Yes, I was all right. No, I wasn’t working too hard. I’d tried calling Alice Chambers but got her voicemail. And I’d texted both Aifric, Deirdre’s former schoolmate who worked in St Finbarr’s School, asking her to call me, and Sadie O’Riordan, asking if we could meet up that night. By then, I would have had two more opportunities of seeing Gill and I intended to use them well: once he left Cork, he’d become unreachable. And it would be good to review the evidence with Sadie while it was fresh.