‘It’s the day before the festival. And you’re coming to me with this? Jesus, as if I haven’t enough to be at.’

She paused.

‘But I know you’ll sit there and I’ll never get fucking rid of you unless I …’

She had a thousand things to do. I was relying on her trademark conscientiousness. Along with the fact that I was asking as a member of the board of directors.

‘Okay, okay,’ she said. ‘I need this like a turkey needs Christmas, but here goes.’

She summarised the policy from memory. ‘No under-eighteens at education screenings or workshops unless accompanied by enough responsible adults to ensure appropriate safety and supervision. No festival staff on their own with students at any time. Any under-eighteen guests to be chaperoned. And all staff and volunteers had been taken through the rules, along with their Health and Safety training, a week before the festival. Don’t worry, I’m on it.’

‘Sounds like you are,’ I said. ‘Knew you would be. Just one of those 3 a.m. thoughts, sure you know, yourself.’

I was reassured, but needed to move the conversation on to Gill without arousing Alice’s suspicions. Not an easy thing to do. She’s one of the smartest people I know.

‘Anything else?’ Alice asked. ‘Do you want to check that we have enough loo roll? Or paper clips? How about fucking paper clips?’

I laughed.

‘I’ll be back to you about the paper clips tomorrow so, just before the opening film. Seriously, though, thanks for that, you’ve set my mind at rest. I have to go into work for a while this morning so I thought I’d drop in now, get it out of the way.’

I made as if to get out of my chair, but sat down again.

‘Hey, the festival made the paper yesterday I see. Jeremy Gill’s visit.’

‘Yeah, it’s great,’ Alice said. ‘All the Gill events are sold out, hope you have your tickets.’

‘Think so. What’s his schedule like while he’s here?’

‘Busy. Arriving at the airport on Tuesday afternoon, I’m going to meet him, then to City Hall, meet Lord Mayor, then Opera House for reception with sponsors and funders, usual rent-a-crowd wine-guzzling liggers not invited, though we can make an exception for you,’ she said, and smiled angelically at me.

‘Too kind,’ I said.

Alice knew that I don’t touch alcohol, though she didn’t know the reason.

‘Then he’s on stage at 7 p.m., says hello to audience, quick chat about the new movie with yours truly, then roll movie and I take Jeremy and entourage to Paradiso, for fine food and glug glug, unless he’s off the drink as well. God, I hope not. He’s gone vegan, apparently. I had to tell Paradiso. No butter or cream for Jeremy. They said they’d put on some extra options for him.’