‘I knew that he had used a condom, at least when I was awake, and I’m fairly sure that he used one while I was passed out as well. But when my period was late I thought … So I bought a pregnancy test. Negative. I bought two more. Negative again. But I didn’t believe the results. I had myself convinced I was pregnant. I couldn’t go to the family GP, or I felt I couldn’t, so I made an appointment with the Well Woman Centre. Mitched off school. Gave a false name and address and pretended I was over eighteen. I was already stressing about how I’d get the money to get the boat to Liverpool or the plane to London and how I’d find my way to an abortion clinic …

‘Anyway, it turned out I wasn’t pregnant. But while I was in the clinic I broke down. I didn’t say what had happened. But the woman, she was a nurse, I think, she knew it was something bad. She was very nice. She told me that, whatever had happened, counselling would help. I had a follow-up appointment with her, but I never went back. I couldn’t face it.

‘I changed schools. Changed my ambitions. I didn’t want to act any more, I wanted to hide, to be safe. But I wanted to be healed too, I wanted the pain gone. And I kept remembering what the nurse at the Well Woman had said. So eventually I went to the Rape Crisis Centre, and they got me a counselling appointment, and I went, and kept going. But I never named him, never once all these years. I got on with things, worked hard. I’ve been promoted a couple of times. And I work even harder at being normal, at just being. I live quietly, but this is my own house. I bought it, I pay the bills, the mortgage. I have a life. To spite that evil fucker Gill. He couldn’t take that away from me, no matter what he did.’

‘Your family must have known there was something seriously wrong?’

‘My mother knew something had happened. She kept pushing for information but the more she pushed, the more I pulled away from her … So that’s it. The End. There’s no more to be said. Now you go, like you agreed.’

‘I will, I promise,’ I said. ‘I just need a minute.’

I took a long drink of water.

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘Don’t say anything,’ Rhona said. ‘That’s not part of the deal. I’ve told you my story. Off the record, just as you asked. Please leave. Please let me be.’

‘I will. But your story has … well, it’s made an impact on me. A lot of the details fit with what I already know about Gill. But to hear you describe it, that’s something else.’