Gill walked up to the actors, stood between them, took their hands, and held them overhead while the rest of the class applauded. Then Gill gestured for quiet and spoke.

‘They were brave, these two. That’s the kind of bravery I’m always looking for in actors, people who are willing to step into the unknown, to get in touch with their animal feelings. We can’t deny what’s natural. I truly believe that. But, hey, come on, another round of applause for our actors, and especially for Carmel.’

He turned and spoke to her during the applause. I couldn’t hear, but I saw him mouthing the words ‘amazing, you’re amazing’. And I watched as he took her hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it, and kissed it again, all the time looking deep into her eyes. Then he turned and nodded at Stevie, and let go of his hand. He went back to his seat, while Gill walked hand in hand with Carmel to hers. She seemed to grow taller with every step. Whatever doubts she might have had about what had just happened, they were gone.

I sat dumbstruck in my chair, only remembering to clap as the applause was ending. What had I seen? What had we all seen? I looked at the teachers. Many of them seemed uncomfortable, as if they were aware that a line had been crossed. But they weren’t sure. And, for all my concerns about Gill, neither was I. We were privileged to be here, weren’t we? To have this once in a lifetime access? To bear witness to the master at work? And who would dare to question his generosity?

But the scene directed by Gill had come close as made no difference to saying that no means yes, and that consent was irrelevant, a hurdle to be overcome. Was that Gill’s personal philosophy? And yet, most of what had happened, most of what I had found so objectionable, had happened in my own head. My imagination had done the work, as he had planned. There was no denying Gill’s directing talent, but the scene had also given me a close-up of his power over people, his power over me, and that was what sickened me most.

The workshop had moved on to a Q&A, I realised. Most of the questions were of the ‘who’s your favourite/least favourite actor?’ variety, and the atmosphere in the room had lightened again. I checked my watch. We were well over the hour scheduled for the workshop; it had to be coming to an end any minute. He would be gone soon, and I would be able to breathe again.