Bea and I eagerly opened the package, digging into the box like dogs pushing dirt out of a hole, looking for the bone at the bottom.

“There are no toys in here!” Bea exclaimed, then threw a dress back into the box and looked at me. I tilted my head at our My Little Ponies standing in the corner. Bea nodded and we ran towards the toy box.

Mother was not impressed. When Father came home, he saw the dresses strewn all over the living room and asked what was going on. Mother excitedly flashed dress upon dress in front of him, but he shielded his face with his hand like he was trying to avoid the piercing sun. “Aya, Swee Hua. Sayang lui, what a waste of money. You know the girls don’t like wearing dresses.”

“Yeah, I hate them,” Bea said.

“Me too,” I agreed.

“You are both so ungrateful!” Mother yelled.

We hated the restrictions that came with dresses. The fabric would get caught in the wheels and chains of our bicycles. We had to sit demurely so that our underwear wouldn’t show. We couldn’t crouch to watch the ants carry objects three times their size without the dress getting dirty. Worst of all, wearing dresses felt like dragging around heavy pieces of wet cloth. We refused to wear them, and this made Mother angry. All of our dresses came from Po Po.

“We didn’t ask for these dresses. If Po Po knew us, she wouldn’t have bought them for us,” Bea said.

Mother gave Bea a look of outrage. “Your po po doesn’t know you because she lives on the other side of the world. She wants to know you and sent these beautiful dresses. You can respect her by wearing them.”

“Swee Hua, calm down,” Father said. They’re just clothes. If they don’t want to wear them, why do you want to force them?”

“How dare you, Ah Loy? You brought me here, so far from my mother, and you dare tell me it’s okay for my children to disrespect her? You have done enough to sever any relationship she can have with them.”

“Swee Hua, it’s not my fault the world is so large.”

“No, it’s not, but you do not make it smaller. I know you want to forget everything back home. I know you have nothing there anymore, but I do.”

“What is your mother doing sending us boxes of clothing like I can’t provide anything! It’s not like I’m still stateless, working under the table, trying to stay out of sight of the authorities anymore. E siah suay wo, she’s embarrassing me. We should be sending her things.”

Bea and I continued to toss the clothes around, hoping that something better was hidden among them.

“They’re a gift, Ah Loy. Why must you take the joy out of everything? It’s not an insult to you but a gesture of love for her grandchildren. She is not some stranger. Nobody has said anything about you being stateless and unable to provide. Why does it always come back to that?”