“You know, sometimes, just sometimes, I like to pretend that you care about me. That you care if I’m alive or dead. Not tonight, though. You want me gone, and there’s only one way I can think to go.” The camera whirled around, and I could see so many colors. The street below my building. Fifteen stories down. He had the tips of his sneakers in the frame, right on the ledge.

“What the hell are you doing? Do you even know?” I clutched the phone hard.

“I’m feeling the things you want me to feel. This is what you want.” The view was tipsy and turvy.

“Well, I’m feeling like I really want you to step back on the roof.” My stomach fell to my feet.

“There are only two ways off this. That way…” And then he did his best impression of Singing in the Rain, twirling on a safety pole, making my mouth drop open. “Or in your arms.” And then he ended the call.

The Uber ride to my place was fraught with worry and self-doubt. Should I call the cops? Would they be able to save him? He was so wary of cops, I could see him jumping just to make a statement.

I ran up the steps as fast as I could, and when I banged the rooftop door open, he was still there. Still fine. Sitting on the edge, feet kicking like he was a schoolkid on a swing instead of a grown man being dangerous as hell.

I slowed my steps, no sudden moves, and put my phone into my back pocket. As I got closer, I saw he had an almost empty liquor bottle, a spoon and a torniquet.

“So fast for a guy you couldn’t fucking care less about.” He took a swig, draining the last of the bottle.

I snaked my arms around him. He was a mess. A mess of a person, a horrible owner of my heart. He leaned his head back and I kissed his temple.

“Does it always have to be this hard?” I asked against his inked skin.

“It wasn’t this hard until you showed up.”

He meant his whole life. Taking these dangerous risks for my attention. The toxic turnaround because it worked. He took my hand and moved it lower until I was able to thread my fingers into his pants. Endgame’s sigh of relief and excitement was not okay.