But it already has. Of course they’re brothers. I saw it the other night when he forgot movie night—our family tradition. I’m still every bit his sister, but that doesn’t mean he needs me in the same way.

Perhaps he’s always been the strong one, not me. I thought he was too soft, too innocent to handle the life we had, but maybe he’s always been better at it than me. He was just holding out for this moment. He protected his dreams while I let mine shatter. That’s strong.

And now he doesn’t need me.

His sharp eyes bore into me. “Are you okay?”

An impossible question. I don’t know how anyone ever answers it. Isn’t everyone always okay and not okay at the same time? Okay in the sense that they’re breathing, making it through another day. And not okay in any number of major or insignificant ways.

It’s not a yes-or-no question. Either answer makes you a liar.

Yes: because he will have something I didn’t at his age—Deb loves him, Jacob loves him. And I know more than one person can love someone at a time, and that makes their life better, not worse.

No: because I don’t love Deb and Jacob the way Parker does. I could stay and try, but I don’t believe that kind of magic exists for me, and when I leave, Parker might love me a little less.

But he’ll have a family. A home.

“Yes,” I say. “I’m always fine.”

“I know.” He turns innocent and naive again right before my eyes—the way I want him to stay. He pushes himself off the floor, heading for the door. “Deb wants to take us to Giovanni’s for pizza to celebrate.”

He grins. I love pizza. But the thought of it turns my stomach right now.

“You guys go without me. I have a stomachache.”

His smile disappears.

“Too much excitement,” I say.

“Okay.” He pauses at the door again. “Hey, let’s watch a movie when I get back. Just the two of us.”

And just like that I’m back in a magician’s box, and I’ve forgotten to pull my legs up and the saw is tearing me in half, and part of me will stay here and part of me will go.

“Yeah, sure,” I say, and he’s gone.