Back Crowfall
Chapters (48)
  1. Cover
  2. SHANTA GOKHALE
  3. Praise for the Marathi original, Tya Varshi
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8Horn OK Thank You!
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18F for FakeJanaki Patil
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25Painting Walls
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. Footnotes
  48. THE BEGINNING

Behind him, Sharada pulls out the durrie from under the cupboard and spreads it noiselessly. She lifts the tanpura from the corner and silently sets it down horizontally. She waits, making herself as small as she can. Guruji is still at the window, apparently lost in the view outside. A puff of breeze enters and with it a dried leaf flutters in and settles on his shoulder. Guruji continues to stand absolutely still. Only his fingers intertwined behind his back move imperceptibly. Sharada has seen Guruji's anger take many forms, but never this. What must she do in these circumstances—keep standing like a statue, or fall at his feet and ask for forgiveness? She cannot do that. She did what she did knowingly. To ask him to forgive her would be hypocritical. She continues to stand.

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other. If a way is not found out of this impasse, she is afraid she will burst out laughing. Just then, Madhavrao Sabnis walks in on furtive feet; catching sight of her, he freezes. His customary expression of devotion turns to confusion at the sight of her. He half smiles at Sharada in greeting and hurries forward to touch Guruji's feet. This is not easily done, because Guruji's feet point towards the wall. But he does what he can. He touches them from the side and moves back.

Madhavrao had once been Guruji's disciple. He poured his soul into singing and was tenacious. But just around the time he was beginning to realize that mere tenacity was not enough for producing a true shadja note, he was diagnosed with cancer of the throat. On hearing the news, Haridas had said, characteristically, ‘God sometimes intervenes to reduce discord in the world.’ Now Madhavrao just about manages to produce a speaking voice. It seems to come from a throat covered in sandpaper.

Madhavrao is a chaste man full of goodness. He thinks his voice annoying, so he does not say much. If he agrees, he nods and smiles. If he does not, he hangs his head. He worships Guruji. He believes, without a trace of doubt, that such a singer has never been born before, and never will be again. For the past thirty years he has accompanied Guruji on the tanpura at every concert. On these occasions, his face lights up with such guru-love, that people's attention is often diverted away from the singer to him.