‘Yes. I’ve always been her favourite because I’m male and I’m light-skinned, like her. Anima is a girl and dark-skinned like Anna. Ai must have loved her but didn’t show it. Ai’s rejection of Anima worked to Anima’s advantage. She attached herself to Anna who loved her and didn’t restrain her from doing any of the boy things she liked doing. She’d fling her leg over a bicycle and ride off to the market. She’d leap into the well for a swim. She’d play tops with the neighbourhood boys. I stayed at home, under Ai’s protection, and grew up to not be “a man amongst men”.’ There’s a pause. ‘Will I do?’

‘Do? I want you. I’ve known one “man amongst men”—my father. And that one’s enough.’

‘What about your mother? You don’t meet her much, do you?’

‘No.’

‘Don’t you feel any sympathy for her?’

‘Perhaps I do, now. I didn’t then.’

‘What will it be like with us? Are you sure we’ll be good for each other?’

‘Look, Ashesh, I don’t just love you. I like you. And I love your work. That should be enough to go on from my side. You’ve never told me your side. But you don’t have to. I feel it.’

‘Shall we not be afraid then? Shall we jump in?’

The following morning, Ashesh allows Janaki to make tea, introducing her to his ritual. ‘What would you like as a wedding gift?’ he asks as they sit with their tea on the veranda. ‘I don’t understand jewellery and stuff like that.’

‘I don’t either.’

‘Oh good. So what would you like?’

‘There is something I want desperately.’

‘What?’

‘A tanpura?’

‘I know nothing about tanpuras either.’

‘Sharada does.’

‘I’ll paint out here and you’ll practise in there. Sounds good.’

‘When I get time from the job.’

‘Give up your job. Freelance. Money’s no problem. My work sells moderately well.’

Janaki grins and shakes her head. ‘Be careful, Ashesh. “No need for you to work” is a man’s first step towards becoming a husband.’

Ashesh slaps himself on the cheek. ‘Damn! I’ve failed before I’ve begun!’

35