Paperwork? It took her a moment to understand he was joking.

‘Robin.’ He reached out and touched her face as if she were someone different. ‘I want to be with you. Properly. I want us to live together, be a family. I love Lennie – I think she loves me, too. If you agreed, I’d ask her if she’d let me adopt her formally. I want to be her dad – it would be a privilege.’

For some seconds, she couldn’t speak. They stared at each other and she’d watched his expression change from hysterical daring to suspense.

‘I can’t,’ she said.

‘You can.’ He smiled but she could already see withdrawal in his eyes, defensive retreat. ‘Unless there’s something you haven’t told me? You’re already married or …’

‘No. No, I’m not married. Adrian – I just can’t.’

‘Why?’ A note of aggression.

How to explain? The wind had shoved her, a hand on her chest, and she’d taken half a step backwards. The disconnect was dizzying – she had been sitting there feeling humiliated, cast out, and he’d been thinking of marriage? What the hell? Wasn’t that reason enough? That they could have dinner together and be in such totally different places in their heads? What chance did they stand? Her life was in free-fall, she was Wile E. Coyote off the edge of the cliff, feet scrabbling at the air, and he was thinking about who to invite to their wedding.

And yet, she’d thought in the days afterwards, waiting in the sitting room while he silently collected his things from the bathroom and loaded various bits of kitchenware into a box, it was her fault. She’d given him the impression there was a chance. She’d liked him – enjoyed being with him. He was clever, he made her laugh. She liked his taste in music, the smell of his skin.

‘What’s the catch?’ she’d asked Olivia six weeks after they’d met. Olivia, her favourite mum from RPG, had introduced them; Ade was an old university friend of hers. ‘I like him. He’s funny, handsome, likes books and The Wire, and he knows a lot about London history.’ Good in bed.

‘None – no catch.’

There really wasn’t. In three years, there’d never been a deal-breaker – no hidden nasty streak or penny-pinching, no roving eye or porn collection. And yet. And yet. For a long time, she’d waited for it to kick up a gear – to fall in love, as Lennie would say – but it just hadn’t happened. Knowing that it would be good for them all, she’d tried to compel it, put the full force of her will behind it, but nothing. Perhaps it was too easy. Perhaps she needed grist to engage, to get traction.