I wiggle out of our hollow and skulk through the trees, enjoying being able to walk without crouching down. Most of the trees in here are way taller than I am. As I snake through the Christmas trees, making sure to remember the route I take, I notice that all the trees in here are 114 the new pines like we have at home, with those perfectly spherical cones tightly curled up. They’re all planted upright in pots rather than being cut and leaning, so it really is like taking a stroll through a mountain forest. Well, not exactly like that cos I’m in a giant warehouse, but you know what I mean. They rear up in the dim light, branches like fingers catching on my clothes and in my hair, and unfamiliar shapes seem to form in the shadows. It would be sinister if I hadn’t already seen way creepier things today.

When I get close to the front of the building, the trees start to thin out and I see that there’s a desk in the corner covered in paperwork, with a couple of chairs and some boxes stacked up beside it. I stand for a moment, straining my ears for any signs of movement at the front door, and then I break cover, darting over to the desk. I use the soft glow from the lock screen on my phone to help me look through the desk drawers and the boxes. It feels reassuring to have my phone in my hand again, even if the only thing it’s good for right now is being used as a torch. After a rummage, I hit the jackpot – two unopened bottles of water, a slightly bruised apple and half a 115 box of Lindor balls. I zip the chocolate and water into my coat pockets, and on second thoughts put the apple back with a £2 coin so I don’t completely feel like I’m stealing. Then I head back into the trees, my phone still in my hand.

I’m most of the way back, and way too excited about showing the others my stash, when I spot a movement out of the corner of my eye, and my heart almost leaps out of my chest. I jump backwards, knocking into a tree which wobbles in one of those butt-clenching slow-mo moments where you see your life flash before your eyes. I grapple with a couple of branches and just manage to stop it from crashing down, cursing myself for being so damn jumpy. Once I’ve quadruple checked that it’s back on its feet and not going anywhere, I return my attention to what caused my almost accident which I’m assuming at this point is not something that’s going to jump out and attack me, cos let’s face it, it would have already done that by now.