Isn’t every bit of this exactly what I wanted?

“Maybe not,” I say, hoping it sounds like a genuine concession. I don’t want it to be a mood killer. I want us to be on the same page. I want this to feel real. I spent so much time fantasizing and I get to make it come true if I want to.

It’s so much power.

I just wish it felt like power I still wanted.

In a flash, I think of Gia, how she makes her dreams happen—whatever they are. How she does the thing and hopes emotions will follow, and they usually do. I can do that. I can do the thing. I can do the thing and feel what I want to feel, what I’m probably just too self-conscious to feel.

“I don’t know if I’m properly ‘servicing the champion,’” I say, tapping his lower lip.

“Again, not something I was counting on happening tonight.”

“I know.” And I do. “But say I wanted to.”

His eyebrows rise a fraction. “Do you?”

I’ve always wanted to, I think, but it’s a weird answer and a weird non-answer all at the same time, so I kiss down his chest instead, figuring that’ll say everything I need.

His breath hitches as I get to the top of his jeans and slowly undo the button, and it’s quiet enough for me to hear that there’s still hollering coming in our direction, but it must be from downstairs. I wish we’d put on music or something, but it’d seemed so loud earlier that it wasn’t necessary.

Now all I hear is my own heartbeat pulsing in my ears and Chase’s shallow, rapidly increasing breaths as we take the “high scorer” title to a whole new level. For as much as he doesn’t care what other people hear or don’t, he bites into a pillow rather than screaming out, and it takes away any doubt I might’ve had about whether he’s worth taking this leap.

“Holy shit,” he breathes when we’re done.

So, not bad for my first time on a guy, then. Apparently the reading up on it I used to do in preparation of this moment paid off. Good to know.

“Do I get your MVP trophy now?” I ask.

He laughs, still weak as he relaxes against the pillows. “For now. But you have to give me the chance to earn it back.”

His gaze flickers over my short skirt and it takes me a minute to realize what he’s saying.