There’s a tear in the thigh of her jeans, and she picks at it, concentrating her gaze downward with the same intensity she gives to capturing perfect shots of butterflies. “I don’t really love the whole partying thing. I mean, sometimes I do. But being surrounded by people is just … a lot. And it’s not that I don’t like hooking up with Carter, but it’s like … I don’t need it in the same way when there aren’t a ton of people there.”

My first thought is that she means she wants other people to see it. After all, how many times have I dreamed of the feeling of a million eyes on me as I stand with Chase under the spotlight at Homecoming or prom? But that isn’t the vibe I get from Jasmine. And then I do get it.

“You don’t need the escape, you mean?”

The smile on her lips is faint, but I see it because I’m looking for it. “Yeah.”

It isn’t something we have in common. I like to be kept busy, to be surrounded, entertained. As much as I love my mom, I suspect it’s from growing up in a quiet house of two. But sometimes always having to be “on,” having to abide by Shannon’s “rules,” having to balance school and work and, yeah, even my high-maintenance crush can get exhausting and frustrating and I just want that feeling of taking your bra off at the end of the day more than I want anything else in the world.

Even if it feels like I’m not allowed to admit it.

“So why do you keep going out?”

She shrugs. “I don’t wanna be alone either. There’s no real compromise here—you either hang out with everyone, or no one.”

“Well,” I say, a brilliant idea sparking in my brain, “maybe that was true before, but it isn’t now. Now you have a housemate! How about tomorrow night we stay back and hang out? We can have an incredibly cheesy and stereotypical girls’ night. Heavy on the ice cream. Hair curlers optional.”

Jasmine laughs with a rare fullness that I’m way too proud of eliciting. “Deal.”

We shake hands before going inside.

I think about that handshake a lot, because it reassures me that it was clearly just a friendly suggestion.

I had no idea what it would spark.

Chapter Eight

NOW