“No, no. Four weeks ago she was different. She’s meaner now. Kind of, well, raunchy.” As if I were a schoolgirl. As if I didn’t just fuck him the other day and whisper nasty things in his ear.

“Even if she makes a move on me, I’m way stronger.”

He didn’t laugh, which made me feel both sleazy and cruel. “She’s not going to touch you,” he said. “She’s weak. Just don’t take anything she says seriously, OK?”

I turned left, and the car that had been riding my bumper made a U-turn.

*  *  *

The door opened before I reached the porch, and the smell of warmth and homemade food wafted out.

“Come in, come in,” Paulina said, bossy but with love. In a single movement, this sturdy woman wearing green scrubs pulled me into a hug like a strong undertow. She grabbed my biceps, pushed me away to have a look at me as if I were twelve with newly budding breasts. She shoved a hot mug into my hands that smelled of medicine and said, “Nettle tea.”

Paulina was beautiful, her gray and black wavy hair striking and exotic, her scent woodsy, her accent European. Polish, Czech, Lithuanian, or Russian. I imagined she’d experienced a bit of war, maybe followed her daughter to the States.

I was simultaneously in love with her and appalled by her. She treated me like close family, which stirred homesickness deep in my belly. At the same time, I didn’t like her invading my space, expecting things from me, assuming things about me.

Speaking quickly, Paulina showed me Judy’s prescription bottles, where to journal the medicine I administered, and how to empty Judy’s urine jug. “Oh heavens, why am I even telling you this? Trevor said you’re a phlebotomist, bless your heart, you’re a pro.”

“Not really. I just do blood draws.”

“Oh, honey. You’re an angel. Give yourself credit.”

Honestly, I’d expected Paulina to be cold. So, you’re the wife. Why haven’t I seen more of you?

I’d expected to offer excuses, I’ve offered. Trevor keeps telling me, he’s got this.

That Paulina was soft and motherly toward me made me well up.

“What’s wrong?” she demanded. “You tell me. It’s OK. You can tell me anything. Tell me.”

“I’m good. Just a tickle in my throat.” I sipped my tea and wiped a tear from the corner of my eye.

I could see how Trevor might want to bury his head into her bosom. This woman was a giver. Maybe she blew him in Judy’s dusty, floral bedroom, and didn’t expect anything in return. A blowjob for the sake of loving dick or not even loving dick, only wanting to make someone else happy. I couldn’t blame him. I wanted her to take me into her arms too.