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Back Confess to Me Save as PDF
Chapters (87)
  1. Cover
  2. Also by Sharon Doering
  3. Title Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
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  10. 5
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  85. Author’s Note
  86. Acknowledgements
  87. About the Author

Oh, Heather. I was tired. Sad. Worn to the point of not caring. Depressed. I was depressed. I have depression. That’s why I went to see him. I was tired and sad all the time and then I couldn’t stop thinking of Dawn Young. Poor Dawn with her own weak mother, poor Dawn, another girl who would be chewed up and spit out, a girl who had so much potential, so much talent—oh, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, you should have seen her paintings of Crooked Bridge over the river, sunset like a gorgeous cocktail.

I’m sorry I let you down, my littlest one. I didn’t do enough for you. I didn’t teach you how to stand up for yourself. I didn’t give you enough attention, make you feel as special as you were, are.

I hope when you grow up you can forgive me my anger, my drinking. My stupid vodka. I’m drinking it now, can you believe it? Ha. Of course you can. It polishes the sharp edges, dims my blaring failures. I was the one who went to him. I got myself into that mess.

I hope you find love and you have children of your own and you do better than I did. You are better than me. You have that wide-open mind, that running-wild, blurred-lines imagination. I love that about you. I have always loved that about you.

Author’s Note

AUTHOR’S NOTE

Fair warning—if you happen to read authors’ notes before you read their novels—this note is a bit of a spoiler to my book!

My novels come from a mingling of ideas, usually three or four, that my mind has been kneading separately for some time. These ideas touch edges, and then, what do you know, they are suddenly inseparable. Like making dough.

The primary inspiration for this novel was the PBS Frontline documentary, The Search For Satan (1995). I stumbled upon this particular Frontline episode years ago, and the women’s horror stories stuck with me. I am in awe of medical doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, and psychologists for their dedication to helping people’s bodies and minds. Even so, it’s crucial to remember the individual stories of medical ignorance and cruelty that stain human history because they continue to reoccur. If your interest is sparked by this documentary, as mine was, tuck yourself in with your laptop and get cozy—there is a rabbit hole waiting for you online. I’ve slid down a few of those dark tunnels, and they are filled with conspiracy, manipulation, and dangerous personalities. Truth is typically stranger than fiction. Using a true story as inspiration oddly carries the risk of going too far and making the novel unbelievable. I hope I pulled this off.