Alex and I had come full circle. I remembered every touch, every cry of pain, every thrill that stormed through my blood at knowing she was at my mercy. I wanted her there again, unable to get away or deny me anything. As I squeezed the silky, water-based substance into my hand and palmed my cock, the darkness inside me took hold. Potent and undeniable, I couldn’t stop this if I wanted to. The idea of slipping into the one place no one had fucked was too tempting.

She must have sensed the near frantic need consuming me because she clenched her ass cheeks and squirmed. I stilled her with a firm hand on her back, and that’s when my demons surfaced. My whole body trembled as I gouged my fingers into her skin. But even as I held her perfect ass in my hands, the ghost of Cleft assaulted me. The rapes in prison were never far, always a part of me, no matter how much I tried to bury the memories.

Shuddering, I closed my eyes for a few seconds and eventually came back to myself. To her. She was trembling as much as I was.

“Are you scared?”

“Y-yes.”

“I’ll be gentle. Get on the bed and tuck your knees under you. I want your ass in the air.”

She climbed with a half sob, half whimper. “I’m not ready for this,” she said, her voice full of uncertainty. Yet she raised her butt anyway, displaying how easily she’d give in to me—how she’d always give in to me.

Grinding my teeth, I smacked her backside hard. “Higher.”

She immediately capitulated. I spread her cheeks, fingers teasing the opening of her tight hole I couldn’t wait to penetrate, and settled behind her. I dragged my index finger lower and probed her drenched pussy, then slowly withdrew, making her raise her bottom without realizing it because she was too busy chasing my touch.

“You want me to be your first, don’t you?”

As a tremor seized her, she gave a reluctant nod.

“Good girl.”

“Why are you being like this?”

“Like what?”

“So…cold.”

My spirit took a nosedive toward hell, thrashing and screaming the whole way, begging me to save me from myself. She was right, but why I’d succumbed to treating her less than the treasure she was…that I couldn’t explain.

“You signed up for this,” I said, attempting to divert her with an ill-conceived cop-out, “the instant you said ‘stay’ on that island. I sure as fuck remember that night.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“You need to understand who I am.” She should be scared. Her pleasure would be fought for and earned through her tears and pleas every fucking time. That’s what got me harder than fuck. I leaned over her back and brought my mouth to her ear. “Just submit, baby. Everything you’re holding onto…let it go.”