A zipper sounded, and clothing rustled. A soft thud landed by my feet before he slid to the floor behind me and dragged my ass to his groin. He engulfed me in the shelter of his arms and legs.

“Let it out, baby. Scream, cry, do whatever you need. Just let it out.”

“I want to hurt myself.”

He stiffened. “You’re not fucking hurting yourself. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

I grasped his arm and held on tightly. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Alex,” he warned.

“No!” I struggled against the cage of his body, but it was fruitless. He was too strong. Slumping against him, I sighed. “Stop holding back. You’re scared, I get it. But I’m scared too. We’re sitting in a shower naked, Rafe. You can’t get any more intimate than this.”

“Intimacy isn’t what I’m worried about.”

“We’re gonna wake up tomorrow, or the day after, or whenever we can bear to crawl out of bed, but for right now, I just need you to fuck me.”

“Why?” he whispered in my ear, his lips soft and warm and wet against my lobe.

“Only you can take it all away.” Reaching behind me, I wedged a hand between us and rubbed his cock. Immediately, it sprang to life against my palm. He couldn’t help but groan. I swirled my thumb over the head and spread the moisture collecting at the tip.

He pushed upright, bracing his back against the tile, and pulled me with him. He whirled me around, bringing us face to face, and shoved me against the opposite wall.

“I know you’re hurting right now, probably in shock. There’s no easy way to get through what we’ve just escaped.” He planted his hands on either side of my face, and his chest rose and fell quickly. “I want inside of you, but not tonight.” He pushed away from the wall. “Tonight, I want you to crawl in bed and sleep as much as you need.”

The burn of tears threatened, and panic bubbled up. I wasn’t ready to let them out yet. Somehow, those hot, salty drops would make it all real. Cement it in history. I blinked, reaching out blindly, and planted my palms on his heaving chest, smoothing down his abs before lowering to my knees.

“Alex?”

The cold floor numbed my skin. “Let me do this,” I whispered, my lips nearing his arousal. They’d forced us into this just days ago. Now, I needed to make a new memory. I slid my mouth over his tip, tongue laving the underside.

“Alex…fuck. I’m powerless here.”