“Okay,” I said, the word coming out a whisper. “I’ll be there soon.” I hung up before he figured out I was lying. I made one more phone call to arrange for a boat rental, then drove onto the highway again. By the time my father realized I wasn’t coming home, I’d already be on Rafe’s island. Of course, that depended on my ability to go near the river and set foot in a boat without having a full-blown panic attack.

My heart fluttered the whole way to Dante’s Pass and turned into an unbearable pounding as I braked in the parking lot next to the boat ramp. I shut off the ignition, and my anxiety thundered in my ears for several minutes. I kept my head straight, focusing on the restroom and the woman that came out holding a little girl’s hand. Sweat coated my palms, and my grip slipped from the steering wheel. To my left, I knew what waited for me.

How was I supposed to get into a boat when I couldn’t even bring myself to look at the river?

Sucking in a noisy breath, I swiveled my head before I chickened out. It was only water, and I wouldn’t even be alone, as the man I’d called on the way to take me to the island waited on the dock. Normally, his company only rented out boats, but I’d offered to pay extra if he’d take me.

If only I could get out of the stupid car and walk to the dock.

Quit being such a pussy.

The need to get to Rafe was more powerful than my phobia. I pulled on the handle then pushed open the door. One shaky leg lifted into the breeze. Another maneuver, a scoot of my butt, and both feet touched solid ground. I armed the alarm and crept down the slope toward the dock next to the ramp.

Images of suffocating, of dense blackness, assaulted me with each step, making me cringe, and I chanted stop it, stop it, stop it to wipe the stubborn thoughts from my mind, but they stuck to my brain with the strength of crazy glue. The only way to push past the terror was to chant until I heard nothing else. If I appeared on the verge of a total meltdown, the guy wouldn’t take me to Rafe.

I stepped onto the dock, keeping my eyes trained on the man waiting for me, and purposefully ignored the gentle lapping of water on either side. It wasn’t going to jump out and drown me.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

“You the one wanting a lift to Mason Island?”

Unable to find my voice just yet, I nodded.

He frowned. “You sure that’s wise? You know the guy who lives on that island is a sex offender, right?”

“I know what everyone thinks he is. They’re wrong.”