“Stop!” I began pacing, though I never stopped searching my surroundings. A group of college-aged kids came out of the restaurant and bumped into me. Instead of becoming irritated, I welcomed their proximity.

Stupid, Alex. Go back inside and tell Evelyn. Get help.

“You can’t just say ‘I’m sorry’ after everything. It doesn’t work like that.” I should know—sorry hadn’t worked on Rafe.

“I know.” He sighed. “But I love you. I want you back. Can we just sit down somewhere and talk?”

“Even if I didn’t think of you like my brother”—I lowered my voice—“I could never be with someone who did what you did.” The hypocrisy of my words pinged through my head. Rafe had done acts deemed unforgivable too, but I didn’t feel the same way toward him. My heart wanted what it wanted, despite logic or reason, despite right or wrong. I supposed in that aspect, I could relate to Zach.

My chest tightened, squeezing the air from my lungs. I also understood why Rafe couldn’t forgive me.

“I’ll do anything,” he said, his plea high-pitched and awash with regret. “Please, forgive me. You’re the only thing in this world I care about.”

Unable to speak, I ended the call with a press of a button then walked inside the restaurant, passing by people that blurred around me. They didn’t seem real. I didn’t seem real.

“Everything okay?” Evelyn asked.

I shook my head. “My dad…” I cleared the fear constricting my throat. “My dad needs me home. He’s got the flu or something.” I let out an awkward laugh. “He’s a big baby.” For perfecting the art of lying, I sure sucked at it now.

She tilted her head. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” I forced my lips into a smile. “Just family stuff. Can I get a rain check?”

“Sure, but I’m holding you to it.” She pulled me into a hug. “You can call me anytime.”

“I know.”

We parted ways out front, and as soon as she got in her SUV and pulled away, I scurried back inside the restaurant and reclaimed my seat at the table, body shaking as I deliberated on what to do. I was scared to walk to my own car. I gazed out the window at the new Volvo parked by the curb on the side of the restaurant. Dad bought it last week to replace the one destroyed by the river, once I agreed to the appointments with the shrink.

Someone slid into the chair Evelyn had vacated, making me jump. Zach’s hazel eyes stared back.