So long as I cooperated and did everything my father asked, which included weekly appointments with the stranger sitting across from me. Anything to perpetuate the facade of a mental breakdown. At least I’d gotten to choose the shrink studying me, trying to read me with her analytical stare.

“How are you doing on the anti-depressants?”

I shrugged again. “Okay, I guess.” I was starting to feel like me again, so that was probably a good thing, though being me wasn’t much better than the version of myself who’d hit rock bottom while Zach held me captive.

“I’m here to help you,” Sandra said, as if I needed to be reminded. “Part of you must want my help, or you wouldn’t have sought treatment.”

“I don’t want to be here.”

“Then why are you here?”

“It’s complicated. My father thought I should come.”

She wrote something down on the annoying notepad propped on her knee. A long black and white skirt flowed down her legs, the hem brushing her sandaled heels. From the decor in her office to the hip clothing she wore, she displayed a chic and competent style.

“Are you close to your father?”

A bitter laugh escaped. “Definitely not.”

“But you’d like to be.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Coming to see me on your father’s wish indicates a need to please him. It sounds like you’re seeking his attention and approval.” She leaned forward, chin propped in one hand, and an auburn curl fell across her forehead. “But what do you want, Alexandra?”

“I want to turn back time.”

“What would you change?”

“Everything.”

“How about we start with the one thing you’d want to change most?”

I eyed her, some part of me yearning to spill. It would be a relief to tell my story and have someone listen, believe me, maybe even reassure me it was okay to cry, okay to scream in the middle of the night after another nightmare in which I still lived trapped inside Zach’s madness. Most of all, I wanted her to tell me it was okay to forgive myself for nearly taking the easy way out, the way my mom had.

“I wish…”

Our eyes met, and in hers I found quiet patience. She waited, giving me room to forge ahead when I was ready. Rafe’s rejection edged to the forefront of my mind. The ache in my chest became unbearable, only this time I couldn’t push it aside.

I sucked in a breath then cleared my throat. “I wish I could undo the hurt I caused someone.”

“If that person was here right now, willing to listen, what would you say?”

Cursing the tremble in my lips, I hid behind a fist and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths through my nose until the burn of tears subsided. “I’d beg his forgiveness.”

“Have you asked him for it?”

I nodded.