I almost asked what Zach had to do with any of this. Maybe he was responsible for shooting me. He’d always been protective of her. I bit my tongue, holding back those questions and more. I didn’t want to say anything that could give away my memory loss. She’d been through enough. I didn’t know much else, but I knew I wanted to stay out of jail, and I wanted her to be whole again. Somehow, I got the feeling those two things contradicted each other.

“My father knows you were involved in my disappearance.”

Inevitability was a bitch. I knew this was coming. I wanted to ask her if I’d raped her all those years ago, but I didn’t want to burden her with my issues. She’d been through hell, and I’d put her there. I didn’t know the details of how or why, but she was in that hospital bed because of me.

She’d tried to kill herself because of me.

“I’ll turn myself in, if that’s what you want.”

Her startled gaze punched me in the gut. “No! Why would you think I’d want that?”

“After what I did to you, how can you not want me locked up?”

“You know how I feel about you. I want to be with you so badly, it hurts.” She reached a hand out and curled her tiny fingers around my larger ones. “I thought you were dead, then Zach said you weren’t. He said you couldn’t forgive me, and I fell for it, Rafe. He had me so far out of my mind that I believed you didn’t care enough to come after me.”

I didn’t know what she was talking about, so I treaded carefully. “Alex, what do you need me to do?”

“Forgive me. Take me away from here.” She started sobbing, and the sound clashed in my chest, two warring emotions. Part of me glorified in those tears, a feeling that disturbed me on such a deep level, I thought I might vomit. The other part wanted to wrestle away her demons and pound them to dust.

“Alex.” Her name escaped the vise strangling my throat. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

She rolled to her side, her back facing me, and curled into a tight, protective ball. “You can’t forgive me. I understand.”

I clenched my teeth, wanting to ask what she wanted forgiveness for. I wanted to ask her about the night I was shot. Had she shot me? Had Zach? I needed those answers, but faced with the situation, with how much I’d fucked up when it came to her, the only thing left to do was say goodbye and end this. Let her move on and heal without the memory of me hanging over her shoulder.