“You cannot run away from this!” she finally shouted to me while I cried. It was clear she wanted us to have an action plan before I left, and she wasn’t letting me off easy. I could have run out of her office, but to where? So, it was just as well she sat me down and told me what I had been suspecting in the first place. I sat there for I don’t know how long, crying before I started hiccuping. At some point while my hands hid my twisted face, Sue had left the room. She came back with a box of cheap, rough tissues and a plastic cup of water wrapped in a napkin. I wanted to throw that cup of water in her face and leave her behind with those cheap tissues to clean up the mess. No, it looked like a piss cup so I would use it as that before I threw it. I hated her; she had the nerve to drop this shit on me now, just when I was thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. Just when I was realizing my future was in my hands ’cause nobody else cared. Now, I had to worry about my future and a child’s? No. Not me. I wanted an abortion. Today. I took a sip of water to stop those hiccups, so I could tell her I wasn’t having it, but she already knew what I was thinking.

“You do have options.”

She was settled in her seat, and couldn’t catch me this time when I ran.

“I know I got options and I plan on using ’em,” was what I said before running out. This time, Sue didn’t try to stop me. I glanced back—just because—and saw her shaking her head in both hands, the way she probably ended most of her days. I turned away well before I hurried past Nakesha without stopping, only shouting, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Like a driver waiting for criminals to finish their job inside, she took off right behind me without first needing any report. She was a true road dog.

From the minute I emerged into the sun, out of New Horizons, past the Big Mama who had seen right through me and rightfully marked me a Jezebel, I was already thinking about ways to get rid of this damned baby.

“WHERE THE HELL you been, Shivana?”