I stole that name from this other movie Ma made me watch a couple of times—Claudine, where this pretty Black woman back in the day couldn’t even let her man buy her a toaster because the welfare social worker considered that income. They wouldn’t even let her marry a damn garbage man without losing the benefits she needed to raise the kids, and at least she was lucky to find a daddy for hers.

“Shivana, I think you might have a skewed idea of what social services are.”

“Service I ain’t gonna want or need. I’m gonna take care of myself. Me and me alone. Nobody else.”

She could see after this tirade that I was not going to budge with the abortion.

“I can certainly help you get it done, but you have to see a doctor first.”

“Damn, why the fuck is this so complicated!” I growled, stomping my foot and leaning back with my arms folded. “Why can’t I just get it?”

“It’s not that simple. There are things that have to be known about your health before we actually complete the procedure, like we need to know exactly how far along you are.”

“I told you, almost two months by now.”

“Well, a doctor will make sure of that.”

“I don’t want to wait,” I whined. “I want to do this now, while it’s on my mind and I’m sure it’s what I want to do.”

“Well, if you’re really sure, then waiting a little while longer shouldn’t change your decision,” Sue said definitively. “Now, let’s see … we’ve had to fit a lot of people in due to our closing over Thanksgiving weekend. The soonest you can come is the Monday after Thanksgiving. About two weeks from now. I can make sure you have the appointment. How does soon as you get out of school sound?”

“Then how long will it take for me to get the abortion?”

“We should be able to fit you in a couple days after that, no later than a week.”

“How much is it gonna cost?”

“Around four hundred dollars. A little more if you opt for any anesthesia.”

Damn. That meant I definitely had to go face Rasul and try to get the rest of that money.

“Y’all ain’t got no payment plans?”

“Are your guardians receiving Medicaid?”

“My ma don’t know nothing about this,” I confessed.

“Well, if you or she were on Medicaid, you could get almost anything you wanted subsidized,” Sue said. “You could even get your tubes tied if you wanted to.”

“So I gotta already have a bunch of kids before somebody will pay for me not to have no more?” I shook my head and folded my arms.