I wanna ask you to not be mad at me but I know you gonna be mad anyway so I gotta tell you why I can’t come home. I’m okay. I’m staying with one of my friends you don’t know. But I got something to tell you and I’m just gonna have to go ahead and say it. I know Renelle done came and talked to you. I know you probably know so I’m gonna tell you that what Nakesha said to her ain’t true. Don’t believe her. But I am in a little bit of trouble right now, with Renelle, and I can’t let her find me. I think she might kill me cause Nakesha told her something that ain’t true. So I can’t come home right now cause I can’t have Renelle find me. And I can’t go to school either cause she might find me there too. Just don’t believe what she say, don’t be mad at me, and I’m going to come home soon. I’ll call you first.

Love, your daughter Shivana

“Slip it under there real quiet, so they won’t hear,” I told him.

“Shivana, I don’t know. What if they got the police there or something?”

“They ain’t got no police there. You just gotta put it under there and run or something.”

“They gonna see the paper come up under the door and open it and see my black ass. Next thing you know I’m down at the station. Naw, hell naw …”

For the first time since I had met him, Rasul rolled his eyes and the gesture made my own sting.

“So you got me up here in your place, having me kissing and grinding all on you, thinking you ’bout to get some, but you can’t do me this one little favor?”

“I ain’t trying to get none. Don’t act like you didn’t start it.”

I remembered I had started it.

“Don’t matter if I started it or not,” I shot back. “You went along. Now if you can’t do me a favor then you ain’t really trying to be my friend.”

“Maybe you should go on home,” he said. “Whatever the fuck is going on gonna be right there when you get back. Fuck it and get it on over with. Running away ain’t gonna solve nothin’.”

I exploded, raising my voice like he was my child and not somebody I wanted to be my man.

“You don’t know me. You don’t fucking know me! You don’t know shit about what’s going on in my life. You ain’t got a mothafuckin’ clue so don’t be telling me about what I can and can’t run away from.”

“If I don’t know you what the fuck I’m doing letting you in my crib?”