But the image in my head is of Josh’s expression this morning. The one that screamed how uncertain he was when I told him the truth. It was hurtful after we’ve come so far, and I’ve been the one who’s needed to trust him. He needs to trust me too.

Hot tears sting my eyes, and I’m sure this walk is much longer than the one I went on this morning. The temperature’s risen since I left the house though, and it’s a dry heat. I’m glad I put sunscreen on, but not so happy about not having a hat.

My headache grows as I get closer to the house. There’s foliage at least on both sides of the road to give me some shade. But it’s not enough.

I’ve never been so glad to see anything in my life as I am at the sight of the gates.

The guard’s different to the one that let me out this morning.

“Hello. Could you let me in, please?”

He narrows his eyes. “Do you really think it’s that simple?”

His voice. This is the guy who was on the gate yesterday who spoke to Mac. I breathe a sigh of relief.

“I came in the limo yesterday from the airport. Travelled with Mac Brown?”

He rolls his eyes and points across the road. “Pull the other one. You think you’re the first person who’s tried this today? That group over there all saw Mr. Brown arrive yesterday, and you were definitely not in the car.”

“Yeah, I was. Now could you please give Josh a call, as I don’t have my phone on me, and let him know I’m here. He’ll want you to let me in.”

“I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“Please. I’m not feeling well, and I need to get inside.”

He crosses his arms. “That’s not going to happen. You give me some ID to show who you are, and I’ll think about it.”

My stomach rolls.

“All my ID is inside the house. Please, can you just call Josh and tell him I’m back?”

The guard literally rolls his eyes.

I swallow hard. The last thing I need is to lose it. It’s just going to make the situation worse.

“Stand back from the gate. I won’t warn you again.”

Hot tears spill down my face. My head is thumping already, and it feels like I’m burning up from the inside out. “Please, just call Josh.”

“I’ll be calling the police if you don’t leave.”

I puff out my chest. “Go on then. At least then I’ll get a phone call and be able to talk to Josh.”

He laughs, turning away. My cheeks blaze in a combination of sunburn and humiliation. I need to lie down, but I have nowhere to go.