I glance at the time—6:03 P.M. Which means they’re only three minutes into the special show-offy parents’ dinner. How could they possibly need me there? I’m sleeping, I write back.

Salem

I keep telling you, Skeevy, that trick does not work.

Sabrina

Plz. Begging.

Evie

If this is an elaborate plan to save me from my own loneliness, I really do not need it.

Which is mostly true, but I’m intrigued; I’ve read like five pages of my book in the last two hours, and I am b-o-r-e-d. And yeah, okay, maybe my brain keeps drifting over to what everyone else is doing, and what it’s like to be sitting in the auditorium-turned-dining-room in the Student Center, poking at pale chicken breast and limp salad along with everybody else.

Sabrina

Uh, no.

Mom is already getting mad about texting. gg see you soon

If my boredom weren’t already getting the better of me, my curiosity would be, so even though I feel I am going to deeply regret this, I pull myself out of bed and throw on jeans and the most decent shirt I can find. Then I dab on a little makeup, try to coax my curls into something a little less bedhead-y, and thread in a pair of earrings. Greentree is a small town, and it’s been a long time since I’ve met a friend’s parents for the first time. I feel like I should look nice, even if I don’t quite know why.

Evie

Where are you sitting?

No answer. Guess their mom really didn’t like them texting at the table. Oh well. I make my way into the auditorium and start picking my way around the tables, searching for a crew that looks like the Addams Family, when suddenly there’s a gasp, a flash of blond hair in my face, a wave of floral perfume, and the squeeze of someone clearly trying to kill me.

Before I can figure out what the hell is going on, the woman holds me at arm’s length, a huge smile spreading across her face as she looks me over from head to toe. “It’s so nice to finally meet Sammy’s girlfriend!”

What the hell, I mouth at Sabrina as her mother leads me to their table a few feet away; the fact that she couldn’t even stay seated to keep watch is only one of many, many things blowing my mind right now.