As it is, I’m not feeling too hot. I know he’s not trying to rub salt in the wounds Lucas and Craig left behind—he couldn’t be—but it’s so brutal to hear him singing about taking it slow and having a future when I’m still so full of regrets. It almost feels like he knows, like he’s somehow reached into my brain and my heart and decided to claw me open and drag me in front of the entire school.

And when he looks up and locks eyes with me for a second, the faintest of smiles on his lips, intellectually I know it’s a nod to my saying I knew he’d play guitar at the talent show, but still, it hurts like hell.

When he comes down off the final notes, the room absolutely explodes in applause and whistles, including from Sabrina. It’s total chaos, and if I were to look in Jenna’s direction, I might see her sailing down toward the stage, claiming her man with a big, proud kiss.

But I don’t have time to look in Jenna’s direction; I have to take this opportunity to get the hell out of there ASAP. And so without another glance at Salem, without a word to Sabrina, without so much as another breath, I bolt.

No one follows me out. As far as I know, no one even notices I’m gone. And who would? As far as everyone else knows, I’m fine, absolutely fine, everything is fine. I have no one to call, nothing to do in my room except solitaire, which seems way too on point at the moment.

So I go to bed, hoping sleep will take me and I won’t have to think about any of these things, any of these people. But hours later I’ve tried everything from counting sheep to recounting all my Spanish vocabulary words, and still nothing. I hear the boys file back into the dorm, loud voices carrying as they talk about the talent show, and there’s little I can make out in the individual conversations that twist and tangle together. Eventually, that too dies down, giving way to the sounds of showers turning on and doors closing.

And then, a knock, so quiet I think I’m imagining it until I hear it again, a little louder this time.

“I’m asleep,” I call.

The door cracks open, and Salem steps inside. After the reception to his performance, I half expect him to have his clothing clawed to shreds and his face covered in lipstick prints, but it’s just my dormmate and study buddy, my pact partner, a hesitant look on his face I can barely make out in the moonlight streaming through my window. “You almost had me.”

“Shouldn’t you be off somewhere, rolling around in your fandom?”