I could kill every single one of Archie’s friends right now, but thankfully, their cluelessness actually makes this a little more fun. “Oh no, did I?” I gasp dramatically as I take hold of the four face-down cards on the table and flip one over. “Isabel, are you telling me this is not your card?”

She holds it up for everyone to see. “It is not!”

“And this one?” I push forward the second card with an exaggerated pout on my face. “This one’s not either?”

“She already told you it’s not! Can’t you hear, Rumson Girl?”

My teeth are going to crack if I clench them any harder, but Isabel plays it cool and just says, “Nope, that’s not it either.”

“And this third one?” I widen my eyes in panic. “You’re sure it’s not this one?”

“I’m sure,” says Isabel, holding up the third card.

“Then I guess it must be this one,” I say, pointing to the fourth. I wait for an annoying outburst from the audience, and so does Isabel, neither of us wanting the punch line to drown in it, but it doesn’t come. Finally, Isabel picks up the card, and her face breaks into a huge smile.

“That’s it!” she says, holding up the card as if it were a newborn lion. I knew she could act, but the wonder on her face, as if she’s never seen this trick before, is perfect. The entire audience cheers, and for the rest of the routine, there’s no more shit from the crowd, even when I slip slightly on an aerial and nearly drop the deck.

By the time they announce the end of our performance, I could not be readier to get off that stage.

“That went great!” Isabel whispers excitedly, squeezing my arm. “You really do have to show me how you do that stuff.”

“I will,” I promise. I go to take my seat with Heather and Sabrina, and watch as Isabel takes hers. Salem catches my eye and gives me a little golf clap, which I respond to with a dramatic bow.

“That was so great!” Heather gushes. “You— Oh! Lucas is up!”

Well, that was some short-lived joy. I take my seat quietly and dig my nails into my thighs as I watch Lucas perform an entire comedy routine by John Mulaney, though he does admittedly nail the voice and intonations. The audience eats it up, despite the fact that they watched Jesse do something similar a few acts ago, breaking into laughter at all the right points, and I want to remind them that it isn’t because Lucas is funny.