Caitlin nodded. “It wasn’t enough to fight for my life. I didn’t want to defend my lifestyle.”

“Your lifestyle? When I was twenty-one, I was shooting blindly at men I’d only meet later in piles of the dead. All you had was a healthy sex life.”

“And tits,” Caitlin said, looking around the lake. Therapist or not, Scott was still a man, and even the best men often forgot the world’s biggest double standard. “Have I ruined fishing for you?”

“You’re a great fucking woman, Caitlin. Pardon the obscenity.”

Caitlin laughed. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Stop being angry with yourself.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. You’ve been dragging this weight behind you. After the attack, when was the first moment you felt safe?”

“The hospital, I guess.”

“You shouldn’t have to guess. When did you feel like you weren’t under attack anymore, like Woods, or even Hartman, couldn’t hurt you?”

Caitlin closed her eyes, thought about her drive away from campus, her stop in the plains, a walk in the desert outside of Vegas, rolling back onto Sunset Boulevard.

She opened her eyes. “My father’s pool. I dove into my father’s pool.”

Scott nodded. “Good. Was he there?”

“No, I had it all to myself.”

“Okay, close your eyes again. Describe the moment.”

The gentle rock of the boat helped Caitlin go back. “The water was cold. His pool wasn’t heated or anything. I remember my fingertips brushing the grate at the bottom. I sunk down, turned up toward the surface.”

“What did you see?”

She pictured the fractured surface, the clouds above. “The sun.”

“Why was that safe?”

She opened her eyes. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you?”

She did but shook her head no.

“Okay,” he said, then took off his vest and hat.

“Whoa, Scott, what’s happening?”

“How far do you think it is to shore?”

“Maybe a hundred and fifty feet?”

He untied his shoes, set them on top of his clothes. “Are you a strong swimmer?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

The addition of his wristwatch to the pile left him in only shorts and a T-shirt.

“Something very stupid. I want you to get back to that moment, and we just happen to be hovering over a body of water. I’m going to jump in the water and swim to shore, and if you want to, I want you to swim with me.”

“What about our stuff?”

“I have a plan for the boat, so you can leave your things. But I have to warn you, it’s only seventy degrees out here, so the water has to be cold, and there are fish, turtles, maybe snakes.”

“Then nothing about this is a good idea?”

“Exactly.”

“What about you? Any chance you’ll have a heart attack?”