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Back Cold as Hell Save as PDF
Chapters (115)
  1. COLD AS HELL
  2. PRONUNCIATION GUIDE
  3. CONTENTS
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. 31
  35. 32
  36. 33
  37. 34
  38. 35
  39. 36
  40. 37
  41. 38
  42. 39
  43. 40
  44. 41
  45. 42
  46. 43
  47. 44
  48. 45
  49. 46
  50. 47
  51. 48
  52. 49
  53. 50
  54. 51
  55. 52
  56. 53
  57. 54
  58. 55
  59. 56
  60. 57
  61. 58
  62. 59
  63. 60
  64. 61
  65. 62
  66. 63
  67. 64
  68. 65
  69. 66
  70. 67
  71. 68
  72. 69
  73. 70
  74. 71
  75. 72
  76. 73
  77. 74
  78. 75
  79. 76
  80. 77
  81. 78
  82. 79
  83. 80
  84. 81
  85. 82
  86. 83
  87. 84
  88. 85
  89. 86
  90. 87
  91. 88
  92. 89
  93. 90
  94. 91
  95. 92
  96. 93
  97. 94
  98. 95
  99. 96
  100. 97
  101. 98
  102. 99
  103. 100
  104. 101
  105. 102
  106. 103
  107. 104
  108. 105
  109. 106
  110. 107
  111. 108
  112. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  113. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  114. ABOUT THE TRANSLATOR
  115. COPYRIGHT

But he knew from bitter experience that it was a waste of time. The petrol mower would always die on him. And the old hand mower would invariably hit a stone that had made an appearance in the grass just at the edge of the patch. The brush cutter would overheat and cut out before its vicious nylon wire had cut so much as one precious blade of grass. Even the kitchen scissors would be as blunt as if they were made of clay. Daníel had tried them all, many times.

‘I’m not going to stop trying, because I know elves don’t exist.’

‘And how can you be sure of that? I don’t even know if I exist. What makes you so certain of your own existence that you can doubt that of others?’

‘You’re quite the philosopher today,’ Daníel said. ‘Let’s just say it’s because today’s Saturday.’

‘You’re doing a show?’ he asked, pulling the mower back towards himself, away from the unmown patch.

‘And how. It’s going to be a hell of a show, I can tell you. You’re always welcome, darling. Your seat awaits you.’

‘Thanks, but I’ve seen you perform,’ Daníel said, and Lady Gúgúlú scowled.

‘Honey, that was a year ago. This is a whole new show. This time it’s drag and magic, all mixed together. I get sawn in two on stage, and then get inside a box and make myself vanish.’

‘Is that so?’

Lady Gúgúlú went back inside, and Daníel thought over her words for a moment. The most likely explanation was that Ísafold had disappeared of her own volition, not least as she had been on the receiving end of the domestic violence her boyfriend handed out. But there was still something about this case that troubled him, the regular flash of light inside his head, the uncomfortable intuition that things weren’t right. There was something suspicious about Ísafold’s disappearance. At the same time, there was a weird jittery feeling in his belly, as if there was a small, happy animal in there that couldn’t contain its excitement.62

Then there was the other thing that troubled him: Áróra. Her face was constantly in his mind. His heart beat a little faster every time he thought back to the time she had spent sitting at his kitchen table, and the desperate beast turned somersaults in his belly.