“You know,” Bree said, and Caddie could see her hunching one shoulder up, as she always did when she was answering a question with no definite answer. “It fills a void,” she added.

Caddie laughed. “Well, I hope you and your void are satisfied,” she teased.

Bree snorted. “You’ve seen it,” she said. “It does the job.”

“I’m sure,” Caddie replied. She had a mental image of Sam, naked. He does have a nice one, she thought. This made her think of Brian. She would call him later. If she felt like it.

“How’s your dad?” Bree asked her.

Caddie hesitated, unsure of how to answer the question. The truth was, they’d actually started talking a little bit. But she’d bitched so much about being forced to come live with him that she feared she’d sound like an idiot if she admitted as much. “Not filling any void,” she said.

“That’s not an image I need in my head,” Bree cracked.

“Don’t be a cunt,” said Caddie. “I meant my emotional void. Don’t forget, I’m an abandoned child.”

She slipped easily into the familiar pattern, talking to Bree without actually saying anything. But now she was painfully aware of the superficiality of their banter. We just talk around stuff, she thought. And it was true. They were, both of them, masters of the comeback and the offhand comment, proficient at cutting situations—and people—down to a manageable size. There was something enjoyable in it, a feeling of control that was satisfying and comforting, but ultimately it left her feeling hollow.

“I miss you,” she said, trying for some genuine emotion.

“Yeah,” said Bree.

Caddie waited for more but didn’t get it. “This place really sucks,” she tried, reverting to form.

“Not as much as this place sucks,” said Bree. “It’s totally boring.”

“I know something you can suck.” Sam’s voice floated through the phone. Caddie heard him laugh his goofy, stoned laugh. She knew just what he was doing, pushing his long hair behind his ears and grinning stupidly, probably grabbing his crotch.

“Suck this,” Bree told him. “Christ,” she said to Caddie, “you’d think he never got any.”

Caddie wanted to hang up. She’d thought talking to her friends would be fun, but now she just felt trapped. Nothing had changed with them. But something in her had. She hadn’t even realized it until now. When had it happened? And what was it? She couldn’t even put her finger on it. But she felt it. There was inside of her a new sense of wanting something more, something more than her old life, her old self. My old friends, she thought sadly.

“I should go,” she told Bree. “I just wanted to say hi.”

“Okay,” Bree said. “Take it easy, all right?”

It was Caddie’s turn to play it cool. “Will do,” she said. “I’ll talk to you later.”