Why would he hide this from me? What does any of this mean—us—if he was ready to marry her? Just a fun little experimental quick stop? I mean…what did it mean to me? I was actually dumb enough to believe Caleb actually put me first for once. That he actually was choosing me. But his heart has clearly been somewhere else the whole time. Or, am I just a hypocrite? I mean…I was here chasing after the same girl. It’s all just such a mess.

I open my mouth, but no words come out. My brain is spinning too fast to form a coherent sentence.

Caleb’s arms drop to his sides. His shoulders sag. “Ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me if I love her.”

My chest tightens. “Caleb… you obviously do—”

“I don’t,” he blurts out. “I mean… I thought I did. I love her, yeah, but not like that. Not like—” He catches him self, keeping back from saying something. Something too good to be true. “Nathaniel…” He exhales like it physically hurts. “I don’t love her.”

I drag a hand through my hair, my heart pounding in my ears.

“Then why the hell did you come here to propose?”

“Because I panicked,” he admits. “My dad’s been pressuring me about growing up—settling down, taking over the business. Sarah’s been echoing the same thing. I just… acted. I wasn’t thinking. It was impulsive and dumb and—God.”

He drops down on the edge of the bed, head in his hands.

I stare at him. A panic proposal? That’s a new one. Even for Caleb. And yet… am I any better?

I spent four years orbiting around Sarah, fantasizing about a life that never existed. And now, one weekend with Caleb and everything feels flipped upside down.

Slowly, I walk over and sit beside him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he says quietly.

I nod. “Why didn’t you?”

He looks at me then and damn, even with tears glistening in his eyes, he’s still beautiful. “I didn’t want you to run. I don’t even know what this is between us. But the thought of going back to not having you in my life… it hurts. This weekend—it’s meant everything to me. I was scared that if I told you about the ring, I was going to lose you again.”

I swallow the lump rising in my throat. Okay, so we’re feeling similarly. That’s good, I guess. But, still—

“Fuck, Caleb. A ring?” I laugh, breathless, shaking my head. “Yeah, I guess I would’ve freaked out. Probably wouldn’t have done all of…this.” I motion behind us on the bed.

He chuckles softly. “Are you still freaking out now?”

“A little,” I admit. “But I get it. I do. We were both chasing her. You just came more prepared.” A smile tugs at my lips.

A subtle twitch of amusement plays at the edge of his mouth, a little sad, and stares down at his hands again. “Do you still want to go?”