‘I don’t eat meat,’ I said. ‘I think it’s wrong … I mean, I was brought up to think it’s wrong. I don’t mean you …’

‘I’ll make you some pizza with just vegetables,’ said Nonna. ‘Take no notice of Lauren’s teasing. Are you okay with cheese, though?’

‘Oh, yes,’ I said. ‘Thank you, Nonna. And thank you … Lauren.’

It wasn’t a friendly glare I got this time.

‘Okay, clear off, the pair of you. I’m cooking for nearly a hundred people tonight and I can’t afford to waste time chatting. Lauren, I’m using up all the ham – we need to set some more curing. Go on. Run along and give me space.’

‘Come on, Ashleigh,’ said Xena. ‘I’ll introduce you to our pigs. They’ve never met a rich kid before, but they’re not too fussy about who they hang with, so you’ll be right.’

It was all I could do not to puke. I couldn’t stop the gagging, though.

The pigs, about fifteen of them, were running around in a wooden enclosure with what appeared to be mud for a floor. On closer examination it seemed to be a combination of mud and manure. I gagged again. Xena didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. She leaned against a fence and looked over the squirming mass of pink flesh with what seemed like affection.

‘Eight piglets,’ she said. ‘And more on the way when that sow over there farrows.’ I had no idea what she was talking about – more confirmation, if it was needed, of my ignorance. ‘Any of those piglets take your fancy, Ashleigh?’

‘They’re all revolting.’

‘No. They’re not. Pigs are actually really smart. They’ve got an amazing sense of smell, too.’

‘They must be really suffering living next to each other, then.’

Xena laughed. ‘Let’s look at Babe here.’ She opened a gate and grabbed a piglet as it tried to squirm away. Despite myself, I was impressed. Xena’s reaction speed was incredible and the piglet was no slouch either, but in one smooth movement she had it firmly in her arms.

‘You give the pigs names?’ I said.

‘Nah. I call ’em all Babe. Simpler that way.’ She hugged the piglet close to her and latched the gate again. ‘Say hello to Ashleigh, Babe,’ she said, bringing the thing up towards my face. I backed away.