Afterwards, I took considerable time working out what to wear. In the end I chose a yellow dress that Aiden had said he’d liked one time. Yellow’s his favourite colour, so it was doubly appropriate. Black sandals. Then I put my hair up, keeping it in place with a yellow band. I looked at myself in the mirror. The overall effect was wrong. I looked like deformed sunshine, but I couldn’t be bothered to change. And I so rarely wore dresses anyway. What was I trying to do? Make this out to be a time for celebration? I couldn’t bring myself to care.

I folded the tablet and placed it into the side pocket of my dress. Then I picked up Z.

‘We’re going to see Aiden,’ I said. His tail wagged at the name and that almost started me crying again. But it was important to stay in control. My brother deserved that. He deserved a lot more, but I could only give what I had to give. ‘You behave yourself, okay?’ I whispered into Z’s ear. ‘No biting ever again, do you hear?’

Mum and Dad were waiting for me in the kitchen. They both looked upset, but you’d have to be a monster not to be. Then again, I was still working through my feelings and my judgements. Maybe monsters could fake all that stuff.

‘The car’s ready,’ said Dad. ‘Are you?’

‘No,’ I replied. ‘But I never will be. So let’s just go and get this done. Zorro and I will travel in the back, alone.’

Mum simply nodded. We trailed out into the dark and the car drew up, doors opening. Dad got into the driver’s seat and Mum sat next to him. Z and I climbed in the back. I always used to know how stressed Dad was feeling because he chose to drive, rather than letting the car have control. It was something to do with him using his hands, a nervous gesture. It didn’t matter as long as no one tried to talk to me.

No one did. I kept the windows on clear, so I could see something of the scenery as we drove. As always, there were hardly any cars on the roads. Few people could afford them and there weren’t that many places to go anyway. I knew from history lessons that Sydney used to be a huge city with all these attractions. Theatres, restaurants. I’d seen pictures of the Opera House before it was destroyed by a tornado many years ago. Life seemed so much better then. Now, as I looked out over the deserted streets, the place appeared as bleak as my mood. In the distance the sky flickered with lightning and far off there was a low rumble that I could almost feel through the car’s wheels.