“Yeah, I can do those things, but don’t you want my résumé or to meet me?”

“Are you trying to talk yourself out the job?” he asked, jovially.

“No, but this isn’t like any other job interview I’ve ever had.”

He dropped the salesman’s mirth and said, “Larry tells me you’re six months sober.”

“Larry told you that,” I said sharply.

“Don’t be upset. He didn’t break your anonymity. I’ve got seventeen years myself.”

“Oh. Well, uh, congratulations.”

“Thanks,” he said, the smile returning to his voice. “The point is, you need a hand and I’m in a position to help you. As for your qualifications, Larry vouches for you and I trust Larry’s judgment.” He cut off my stammered thanks. “Ruth Fleming runs our office up there. I’ll have her call you in the next couple of days to work out the details of your contract and give you your first assignment. She can fill you in on what the job involves. Okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine. Thank you.”

“Look me up next time you’re in L.A. Goodbye, Henry.”

I sat there for a moment after he hung up with the phone still pressed to my ear.

Everyone has a picture of himself that he carries around in his head, Larry told me in one of our morning conversations. You know what yours is? No, but I think I’m about to find out. Yes, you are, he said. Your story is that you’re completely self-sufficient. You don’t ask for help, you don’t want help, you don’t need help because you’ve got it all under control. Am I right? If you say so, I sniffed. He laughed. Don’t get your feelings hurt. You’re not special, there are lots of guys like you. Me, for instance, at least at work. I can’t show weakness or doubt. That’s the mask we have to wear out there in the world, but don’t confuse the mask with who you are. So, who am I, then, according to you? I asked. Just a person, he said. A good person, but human like everyone else. You’re crawling out of a deep hole, and your instinct will be to do it yourself, but you can’t and if you try, you’ll only dig yourself in deeper. It’s probably too much to expect you to be gracious, but at least promise me you won’t push away the hands that reach down to help you. Can you promise me that?

“Done,” I said and put the phone down.

3.

3.