“Gorgeous day, isn’t it?” I said. “Pull up a seat.”

He sat down beside me. “How you been?”

“I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls.”

“I figured you were busy with, you know, lawyer stuff.”

“There was that,” I said, “but I also needed to say something to you and I didn’t know how to say it.”

“Maybe you should just say it.”

Words raced through my head, but I couldn’t find the right ones, so, after a couple of minutes, I blurted out, “You know, we gotta stop.”

“Stop…” he repeated uncertainly.

“Stop dating or fucking or whatever it is we’re doing,” I said, not looking at him.

He was quiet for a long time and I was about to say something else when he said, “I figured it was something like that. Can you tell me why?”

“It turns out I can’t do ‘just sex,’ Adam. I thought I could, but I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

“You know it wasn’t just sex,” he replied. “I like you.”

“Yeah, I like you too, but you’re not gay. There’s no future in this and I want a future. With someone. Like you want with Candace. Can you understand that?”

“Yeah. Of course.” He sighed. “You know, Henry, if I was gay, I’d be all over you like white on rice.”

I laughed. “Thanks.”

“The funny thing is,” he continued, “that being with you, liking you so much, really, really made me think about whether or not I could be with another guy. I mean, you’re the best there is and if I could be with anyone, it would be you, but I can’t. I’m just not that guy.”

“Life lessons,” I said.

“Yeah, they kinda suck. So,” he said, after a moment, “can we at least be friends?”

“Yes, eventually. I need a little more time away from you to let my feelings settle down. I hope you understand.”

“Break-ups are hard,” he said. He leaned over and kissed me. “You know where to find me, when you’re ready.” He got up and dusted off his pants. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t. Goodbye, Adam. Thank you for everything.”

“Goodbye, Henry.”

I sat there for a moment after he left, looking at the city, as a future that might have been slowly dissolved in the autumn brightness and what I felt, along with sadness, was relief. Breaking up was hard, but in exchange for the sharp sting of heartbreak, I had avoided a lot of unnecessary suffering trying to make something work that was doomed from the start and which also could have made me so miserable that a drink would have sounded like a solution. I got up and went off to call Larry.

16.

16.

Randy stopped Bill when he entered the ward and pulled him aside.

“I wanted to warn you he’s been raving,” the nurse said.