I stole a glance towards my client, Kenny Cameron. An ugly, skinny wee shit if ever there was one. He was five feet five inches tall and, in his boxers (Christ, what a thought), he tipped the scales at just under nine stones. Cameron stared straight ahead; only the bobbing of his Adam’s apple indicating he was still alive and kicking. He was submissive and reconciled to his fate, as he had been throughout the trial for the murder of his wife, Senga. The only time Cameron showed any emotion was during direct examination, when he explained why he had bludgeoned big Senga to death. When asked to describe how his partner had sustained head injuries, Kenny Cameron began to sweat as he haltingly told the jury about hitting the ball hammer off his wife’s skull, over and over again until he was covered in her brains. When he was finished, his hands shook and his body heaved with great dry sobs. The jury looked a bit green too. I only hoped they still remembered why he had done it.

‘Will the accused please stand?’ Judge Wylie shouted.

My client staggered to his feet. I remained sitting, staring ahead with a lack of emotion that was very hard work indeed. The press would be watching for any sign of weakness, to see if the Ice Queen was melting.

‘In the case of Her Majesty’s Advocate against Kenny Cameron, the verdict reads as follows: We, the jury, being duly empanelled and sworn, do find the accused Kenneth Michael Cameron, not guilty…’

The courtroom erupted. I couldn’t hear the rest of the verdict because of the din. One of big Senga’s sisters screamed obscenities while Billy Boyle, festooned with chunky golden necklaces and a Benidorm tan, tried to jump into the well of the court to stand up for the innocence of his dead sister. Ma Boyle’s eldest son held my eye as he was beaten back by a police officer. To be honest, I didn’t know who Boyle was coming for–Kenny Cameron or me. My client clearly thought it was him and collapsed in the box. The two court policemen standing guard by his side rushed to give him first aid. It was basic stuff–a quick, harsh slap on the face to bring him round. I made my way to Kenny knowing that he had won the battle but lost the war.