Xavier had pulled down the iron curtain of nothingness over his expression. “Perhaps not.”

Silence ensued, my ears filled with the throb of my heartbeat and the damn fucking clock ticking louder than ever.

Awkward vulnerability made my skin crawl as seconds ticked by with no response. Not that I was expecting one. I cleared my throat before the humiliation of being so raw and exposed choked me. Wasn’t love supposed to make one feel invincible? I had never felt so weak. “It wasn’t one-sided,” I said. “I know it wasn’t. I know it in my bones. But you’re pretending it was. When you found yourself attracted to me, instead of looking inside yourself and rejoicing, you blamed me.”

“Non.”

“Yes. You have had a problem with me from the start. You said it yourself, I terrified you. And I thought you weren’t a coward.”

His lips curled in a hiss. “You have no idea what I’ve been through!”

“I know I don’t.”

He stood and came toward me. Then he seemed to think better of it and stopped, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He then pulled a hand out and raked it through his hair. “I barely know you, and yet I let myself get distracted by you for one day and look what happened to Dauphine.”

What the fuck?

Pain took my breath away, my gasp loud in the silence.

He snapped his head to look at me, remorse filling his eyes. “Non. I didn’t mean that.” He walked toward me and I held a hand up, shaking my head.

“You did,” I choked out. “I’ve discovered you rarely say anything you don’t mean, and this is no exception.”

“Merde. I don’t know how to say the right thing. I do not want to hurt you. But yes, I did mean that. In a way.” His hand grasped mine, and I let him, trying to pretend touching him didn’t matter. “I am a father before everything, Josephine. I let myself forget that for a moment. I am sorry for the way I have been, for what I might have led you to believe. You are correct, my head has been a mess since you arrived. And I cannot afford it. Today showed me that more than anything. There is no space for … us. For some mad, meaningless sex, when it could mean I lose my daughter.”

My breath choked. “Meaningless.”

He dropped his gaze, his eyes filled with regret.

I took a step back. “That’s all I am. I tell you I’m in love with you, and you call me someone to have sex with? Someone you barely know?” My words hardly made it out, my voice was gone. “Call a fucking hooker then. It would have been cheaper. For both of us.”