I stared at the top of his head, at his glossy brown, warm and soft hair, and tried to read between the lines of his words. Was he using Dauphine as an excuse because he wanted me to stay? Or was the idea of me leaving really just that minor to him. No, I was sure it was the former. The night and day we’d spent together had been so incredible, but it had been the natural course of so many feelings building up over weeks. We’d connected in a way I’d never felt in my whole life. I knew it was the same for him. It had to be. I’d felt it. Before everything went sideways. “Xavier. You know you deserve to feel good things too.” My conversation in the car with Madame came back to me. “I think you believe you do not.”

“Perhaps.”

“I’m certain,” I insisted.

“Josephine, I am half a man, but with a whole heart devoted to my daughter.” He looked up, his eyes pleading with me. “That is all I am capable of right now.”

Oh.

Oh.

I looked down to my chest. My hand was already pressed against it as if trying to hold everything together, to stop the pain. I should say something, I thought. I should put on a strong face so he didn’t know the extent of the damage. I blinked and attempted to swallow the ball of grit that had formed in my throat without success. My pulse pounded in my throat and ears. Count to ten, Josie. Breathe. My voice, when it came out, was a scratchy whisper. “So you want me to stay, but only for Dauphine’s sake?”

He grabbed my hand, making me wince at the contact, relief evident on his features. “Oui. You are very good with her. She needs you. After the shock, she needs stability. You will stay with us for a little while longer?”

I snatched my hand away, the backs of my eyes burning. My skin flashed hot, then cold, and a chasm of aching emptiness began to yawn open inside my chest. The chasm was going to swallow whole pieces of my heart. And it was going to fucking hurt.

“Josephine …” His head tilted sideways.

I held up a palm and pulled it down when I felt my hands shaking.

“You warned me,” I said. “You warned me to protect my heart. I’m afraid it was probably too late already.”

He winced, his face paling, and closed his eyes.

“It’s true. You’re sitting here talking as if you don’t know that I’m in love with you.”

“Do not say this.”

“I’m in love with a man who thinks love is looking for ways to hurt him. To destroy him. But that’s not love.” My voice shook. “Maybe you have never truly known it.”