She never did come back to wish me goodnight. Instead, my father and I said our quick goodbyes and he left to deal with Ella while I moved to the bed, sat with my back to the headboard and contemplated what was truly important.

Keeping my family safe from a new threat.

After a long, sleepless night, dawn finally broke and a decision had been made.

7. Walk of shame

Chapter 7

Walk of shame

Vittoria

I didn’t sleep a wink the night before. Whenever I found myself dozing, I woke with a start, my heart racing as though I’d been shocked hard with jumper cables. The tension in my jaw had now rolled over to my temples and I could feel the beginnings of a migraine pinching just below my ears.

No matter how much it pained me, I refused to leave the bedroom I had decided to hide in all night. I would not go out in search of painkillers. If Ettore found me and asked what I needed them for, he would have glanced down at his injured shoulder then laughed at my precious condition, and the embarrassment would have crushed me.

It was a little after eight am when my bladder screamed for relief. I approached the door silently, placing my ear to it, listening closely for any movement outside. But I heard none.

A quick peek outside my room towards the bedroom Ettore had retreated to showed the door remained closed. Emboldened, I gripped the bottom of my dress and held it together as I tiptoed barefoot down the hall to the nearest toilet. I relieved myself quickly, washed my hands and made to sneak back into my chosen room, but stopped myself when I heard muffled conversation coming from behind the closed door that housed my husband.

Curious, I remained on neutral ground, not leaving the kitchen slash open living area. By this point, my head was throbbing and my stomach turned slowly. I helped myself to a glass of water, sipping slowly and when that wasn’t enough, I quietly searched the drawers in and around the kitchen until I found some aspirin. I knew it wouldn’t make more than a dent in my migraine, but took it anyways because something was better nothing.

I sat poised on the sofa, waiting for Ettore to make his entrance. I waited, checking the clock. Time passed slower than usual. My posture turned lax as I sunk into the back of the sofa and closed my eyes, waiting some more, but Ettore spent the better part of the morning on the phone. I couldn’t make a single word out, but the constant chatter reminded me that my husband wasn’t boasting with what he said the night before.

He was an important person. Between being a notorious capo and a single father, his time was precious and stretched thin. And I was just an obstacle he now had to navigate.