I was so worried about offending him that I stumbled over my words. “I’m just- I’m so tired. I don’t think I have it in me to…” At the look on his face, I backpedaled instantly. “But you can, if you need it. I’m just too tired to…” What was the right word to use here? “Participate.”

It was the wrong thing to say.

I couldn’t understand why he appeared angry when he uttered a hushed, “What did you just say?”

Oh hell. I was screwing up. Again. “You’re a very virile man and… I’m your wife… you should be allowed to… you know… whenever you want.” Quietly, and a little frightened, I gently reminded him, “You told me to never deny you.”

For a moment, he didn’t move. He simply stood there, assessing me. His stormy features dimmed some and when he said, “Take your clothes off,” he said it evenly.

My stomach clenched at his false calm. But he was my husband. This was his right.

I did as he asked, and once I was nude, I turned towards the bed, but he grasped my hand and tugged me in the opposite direction. I blinked in confusion as he turned on the bathroom light, took off his jacket and reached into the large cubicle to lift the lever. Hot water billowed out of the showerhead until steam swirled around us. He adjusted the temperature, held out his hand and with zero hesitation, I took it.

He walked me in and under the spray. The sigh that left me was one of pure bliss.

I didn’t even notice he had undressed until he slipped in behind me. That sigh of bliss turned into a heavenly moan when he lifted his hands and began to massage the knots out of my neck and shoulders. I fell back into him and although my knees wobbled, he held me up, washing me with a tenderness and care I didn’t know he had in him.

Afterwards, he dressed me before he dressed himself and sat me down between his outspread knees. He brushed my hair and kissed my neck as my eyes wearily fell closed. I yawned when he pulled back the sheets and helped me in. My head hit the pillow and I muttered sleepily. “Tor?”

The mattress shifted when he took his place beside me. “Yeah?”

I was half asleep when I slurred, “I really do love you. You love me too, don’t you?”

Right then, I fell to slumber so I wasn’t really sure I heard him respond, but I could have sworn I dreamt him say, “‘Til death and beyond.”

Of course, it was all a dream.

Irrespective, I fell asleep smiling.

20. How do you do it?

Chapter 20

How do you do it?

Ettore

It was early afternoon and I already wanted to strangle the disrespectful fuck that was my younger brother.