but I got the feeling that if I pulled out my cock

everybody would be

insulted, even

I

so I had a few more drinks

got a phone

# from one of the girls for

later

and drove on

home.

late payment

a rifle bullet across the page and into Shakespeare’s

grave,

the steam iron pressed against the inner

arm,

the headless scream,

the unfolding dahlia,

notes from a dirty diary,

the lion’s nightmare at 2:30 p.m.,

this summer has run through the trees like a tank,

I jam my heart into a rubber glove and the fingers JUMP,

the Russian Empire gurgles down the garbage drain,

we approach the 21st Century with our dirty stinking laundry,

the gods are done with me and them and this,

the last useless word looking for a place to die.

2 horse collars

I’m hot now, he said,

and lined a single to

center.

next up he tripled,

then drew a walk,

4th at bat

he homered.

5th at bat

he doubled.

I’m hot now, he said,

then sang in the

shower.

when he got to his

place

his woman wasn’t

there.

he went to the dresser drawer

got what he needed

went over to Mike’s and

broke the door down.

they were in bed

together.

at the last moment

he got the real truth of it,

changed his mind

put the gun into his mouth

and pulled the

trigger.

the next day they had the rookie

up from Memphis in his

spot. the kid went 0 for 4,

suckered on the change-up

and the low and inside fast ball.

but he was good with the women

and that’s more important than

.364

counsel

I am living in hell, he told me, and I said, is that right,

Frankie? and he said, I am truly living in hell, you

would never believe it.

everything, he continued, has hardened into a repetitious

march to nowhere.

is that right, Frankie? fucking-a, he said, you ever

been locked into a situation where the only escape is

death?

yes, I told him.

then what do you do? he asked.

Frankie, I just wait, death is coming anyhow.

but, he told me, I can’t wait.

Frankie, you’ll wait.

why, he asked me, is pain the most present and constant

thing in life?

physical pain is hard to explain, Frankie, but I know what

causes most spiritual pain.

yeah? yeah? he asked.

most spiritual pain, my lad, is caused by

too much expectation.

yeah? yeah? he asked.

too much expectation, I said, try to avoid it.

do you? he asked.

yes, more and more I expect less and less.

and do you get less?

almost always, Frankie.

damn, he said, it always helps to talk to you, you’ve been

around the block.

I’m afraid so, Frankie.

he asked, did you ever think you would live this long?

Frankie, I haven’t lived this long, I’ve lasted this

long, good

night.