‘Part of me was scared of going to prison after what you said, but more than that, I just … I honestly, in my head, in my heart, I really hadn’t done that. I could never do that, to you or to anyone. And once you’d said that and I already hadn’t admitted it, I hadn’t told you what happened, after that I realized, oh fuck, how do I go back? How do I tell her now? And the longer it went on I just … I was a coward about it. That’s true. But I couldn’t face the idea of you thinking that about me. And once I knew you were going to put the baby up for adoption I thought, well, this is terrible, but I can at least be a friend to her. If she needs someone to take the blame for it, let me … And then, and then … Ever since we met … I’ve always been my happiest when I’m with you. I’ve never loved anyone else like I love you. And when we got together?’ He blinks like he might cry. ‘It was the happiest I’ve ever been.’

‘What about my happiness, Adam? All those times I was so grateful to get any scrap of what you could give us, all the time thinking: he’s doing us a favour. I never asked for more. Never asked you to stay with us and help while you were off at festivals getting high with your friends because it’s not like you were her father. But you were! You fucking were! And you let it look like charity. Buying all that stuff. All the times … You let me get eaten alive by not knowing what happened. You found me looking at Scott’s Facebook page and when I told you why I was doing it, you didn’t give me an answer. You didn’t let me have the truth. You fucking let me drown!’

He looks down at his hands. ‘I know,’ he says, so quietly that Becky must strain to hear it.

‘Why did you do that?’

‘Because it was you. And it was Maisie. I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t brave enough at the time. And then later I couldn’t see how to tell you the truth and not seem like a liar.’

‘But you are a liar.’

‘I didn’t mean to be one.’

‘I said, out loud, I wanted to know what happened. I asked you, who do you think did it to me? There were bruises on my wrist the morning after. Was that you? Did you hold me like that? Did you hurt me like that?’

His eyes fill with tears. ‘I don’t know, I honestly don’t know … I don’t remember every little bit.’ He blinks. ‘I’ve tried my best to make up for it,’ he says.